Fun Monday

Tiggerlane over at The Neophyte Blogger was in charge of hosting this week's Fun Monday.

She assigned:

Have you heard of The Bucket List? Well, that's what I want from you! Make a list of things you want to do before you die. It must be at least five items - and you can make it as long as you desire. Photos are optional. And let's hear about some of the wackiest, most bizarre to-do's on your Bucket List!

So. Here is my Bucket List.

#1. I will finish this stinkin' blankity-blank NOVEL. It might be with my last gasping rasp of a breath, but I will finish this novel. And then I will be on Oprah, and it will be #1 on the NYT Best Seller List, and Disney will buy the movie rights and I will owe it all to my supportive friends. And Bill of course. Unless finishing it kills me and I'm dead. Then Bill and the kids and the grandkids can live well.

#2. I will invent a Super Duper Pooper Scooper. It will work on batteries with a vacuum action and will hermetically seal each poopus in biodegradable disposable capsules. Or, better yet, it would zap energy waves into the poop, turning it into an odorless, inert powder, which is good for plants and helps cure warts.

#3. I will educate the public (see #1) about puppy mills and internet and pet store puppy sales and there will be legislation outlawing the above that even dog show people will support, though it might cut into their personal freedom a little. (Who really needs to register twenty litters of puppies a year, and if they feel they must, how are they different from a puppy mill anyway? That's what I say.) Hey! It's MY bucket list!

#4. I would buy a small villa in Italy for Bill. He would be so thrilled! Of course we would also have to have a time share jet or somethings, so that the dogs could fly over with us for the summers. I would raise endangered domestic species of farm animals there, like

these Blanco Orejinegro cattle (from http://www.fao.org/AG/magazine/0609sp1.htm). That is big on my bucket list.

#5. I would find a magical way to let my Bill know how he has made my life better. Or how he has made me better. Or how much I appreciate him. Or, well, you know.

That's my bucket list. If you go to The Neophyte Blogger you can find the other participants.