Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Company is coming!

who's at the door?

Our dear friend Laurie from Minnesooooooota is arriving tonight for her annual visit. She is bringing her famous thirteen year old, Spats (the most titled whippet ever with something like twenty-eight or a million and thirty titles), and Sam I Am's brother Rivet, and Lindy Loo's sister Simmer. (At one point I considered naming Lindy Loo Sizzle, so we would have had Simmer and Sizzle.) Lindy Loo decided to celebrate the upcoming visit by coming into season. Oh joy oh rapture! Oh great timing. Oh $h!t.

Twelve whippets in one house with a bitch in season. Well, the only intact boy in the whole group is Lindy Loo's future arranged-marriage husband, Swede William. Being an eighteen month old with raging hormones, Swede William isn't so very choosy in just whom the object of his affections needs be. That said, he is the lowest dog on the totem pole here, and daren't go beyond a wishful sniff of any of the dog butts in this house. No sirree. One time he took a notion to romanticize Mama Pajama and she took a notion to perform a Swede William nose-ectomy, without anesthesia.

I fear that Swede William will labor under the delusion that our little guest Simmer will fit deliciously into the category of "any port in a storm." I do not believe that Simmer's stud muffin Rivet (muffins or no) will take kindly to this whimsy. I also fear that Rivet, only recently departed of his muffins, will take a shine to Swede William, in the Brokeback Mountain sense of the word, since Swede William's nose has been attached to Lindy Loo's Tinkle Can for four days, thus inheriting much of her ambrosial bouquet. I gave him a bath. Of course, Rivet will most definitely take a shine to Lindy Loo, in a decidedly un-Brokeback Mountain sense of the word, so why worry about Swede William?
Then there is the Fun Police, Delia, who follows a strict zero tolerance policy on any hanky panky in her house. Period. You get a silly sexy face on your doggy self, head up, tail up and wagging a rumba, one eyebrow jauntily cocked (or anything else), and Delia appears magically from where ever in a zoom blink, all hackles and teeth, to tell you "Oh no you don't!" Not on her watch. Not going to happen.
I will confess, dear readers, a tendency to worry. I brood. I distress over things which have not happened, and probably never will. I dwell in It-Could-Happen Land. Most likely the dozen will be model canine citizens. The humporama I dread will never materialize. It will be wonderful to see Laurie and her sweet dogs, and we have so many fun things planned. The weather promises to be disappointingly horrid. (What did I ever do to anger the weather gods so?) But it won't dampen the fun of the visit one bit. And, as Laurie generously mentioned, anything Western Kentucky can throw at us has to be better than Minneapolis.
Come back for updates and photos.
Hug your hounds


  1. How FUN (the visit, not the season).

    I was once told to bathe the in-season dog in Herbal Essence to cut down on the aromatic invitations. Went to the store....did you know that there now about a bazillion flavors of Herbal Essence shampoo? I don't think it did didly, either, but perhaps, I chose the wrong flavor.

    I religiously feed the in-season bitch chlorophyll (also supposed to cut down on the smell). I think that may just turn the poop this nice shade of green, but...

    Have fun!

  2. Love is in the air.........Good Luck to you!

  3. I can just hear Delia saying "not in my Kentucky home!"

  4. You guys enjoy your company.. It should be and very interesting visit with the gang all there...
    Have a great day..

    Big Sloppy Kisses
    Gus and Louie

  5. Sound like you have one wild household, Patience!
    You're the topic of our posting today! We're totally enjoying your book! Thank you again so much!

    Love ya lots
    Maggie and Mitch

  6. We are so jealous..Have a great time!

    Vee and Nearly

  7. We have this fantastic vision of a long line of whippets in a conga line, happily humping whoever happens to be in front of him/her. Ours tend to be a bit indiscriminate, stuffies, sofa arms, legs, Dad, one is all great fun.

    And it is Minn eh soh tah, in a sort of up down sing song, going flat at the end. One of God's great places, as long as you don't have a hole in the rear of your jeans!

    Muzzer and Gussie

  8. I am totally blissed out from my catch-up-reading of your blog. You make me happy. And my doggies thank you.

  9. what? what? there's another Laurie from Minnesota???

  10. Mom always says you have a way with words, but I believe it for sure now, HUMP O RAMA, I LOVE it! Good luck with that ;)

  11. Visitors with the house full with whippets sounds like fun!


  12. Oh man. I can't even keep track of all of you and who has gajingles and who doesn't and which gal is currently hot and...

    My head hurts.

  13. Sounds like you are going to have an absolute riot!!

  14. Well we wait with baited breath to see how this turns out!!! Good luck and we hope it doesn't turn into a humporama!!(tee hee) Love A+A

  15. Hi! We're just stopping over from Maggie and Mitch's blog, as they told us all about you :) Helloo!!

    Love Weeny and Daisy (two pugs from Wales, UK) xxx

  16. Perhaps during the humporama, you'll get a 3 dog pile dog humping a dog humping a dog....those always amuse me.

    P.S. I was reminded of a previous post of yours about innocent yet embarrassing phone calls the other day. I was at work and made a quick personal phone call. My coworkers were on the floor laughing by the time I hung up because of the phrase "he's small, but he was a lot of fun last time. I'd ride him again." I was talking to my dressage trainer and she was telling me my usual mare was off and I'd be riding a pony!!

  17. What a fantastic post - you are a genius! I'm visualising utter chaos now, but I'm sure it'll all be very serene and great fun....

  18. I hope you all have a great time!
    Kisses and hugs

  19. Oh This should be a pwetty wondewful weekend..cewtainly eventful and I'll cwoss my paws that evewyone behaves, can send some of the boyz hewe I'll stwaighten them out..but vewy lovingly..I'm not the anti love police..I'm the kissie monstew, heheh
    have fun with all those gowgeous whippets and youw good fwiend
    smoochie kisses

  20. You are so funny! Loved this post. Started my morning off just right! Thank you!

  21. It will be a grand time. In our house someone always has their nose up someone's back side. Dawson looks like he is hooked to Edgar sometimes.

  22. Hope you're having a great time, Patience. Sounds like the household will be wild with all that doggie juju! Sounds like bliss to me!

  23. hey guys,

    you have been nominated for Awesome Blog Award over at the Bone Zone - head on over and cast your vote :-)


  24. Are you up to the challenge?? Visit my blog to find out...

  25. Hump o rama?? Can we come??? We would fit right in...Stan's muffins have just been gone for less than 12 hours so he has plenty of raging' hormones left in him....

    Very funny post!
    Scruffy, et al!

  26. I need to start figuring out who all of you :) Hope you have a fantastic visit with your company!

    Peace + Paws,

    The Zoo Crew

  27. Hehehe! Good for Laurie getting out of the frigid north for a bit! :) I bet her dogs go crazy with joy, lol. Make sure and get lots of pictures!!

  28. Hey, stop having so much fun with Laurie and get back to writing! :P

    Just kidding. I hope you guys are having a blast and that the dogs have all been model canine citizens. :)


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