Sunday, June 1, 2008

The Maiming of a Dirty Rotten Kitty

The Dirty Rotten Kitty won't scratch us no more.
That Dirty Rotten Kitty is humble and sore.
You heard of that surgery where they take out the scratchers?
We took care of that: we're the Kitty-Claw dispatchers!

And while we were at it we ripped off the paw
And the leg it was attached to, we're the Rotten Kitty Law!
If you look close you'll see the emasculation incision.
To bite of his tombits was an easy decision.

We tore out his innards and spread them all around.
We rolled in the mess that they made on the ground.
We grabed him up and and ran all over the yard,
You better send his family a kitty sympathy card.

We're not done yet a'shredding and a'maiming.
But before you humans get to shouting and to blaming,
Before you call the cops and get human selves all huffy:
That Dirty Rotten Kitty was a dirty rotten stuffie!

hug your stuffie maiming hounds


  1. For a brief moment I wondered if our 3 kitties were going to have to step up to Dinsky's roll of keeping the Waggle in line, as far as kitties are concerned. I asked them and - they all ran and hid. No takers here. Dinsky can keep that roll, even long distance.
    Cleaning up hairballs after reading that poem out loud to the group - Deb

  2. Yeah! Kitties are evil!

    Did you have a good weekend?


  3. Oh,dear P! Wonderful,heartfelt poem,perhaps in honor of Aynex-the-cat-lover? My 4 kitties took exception,but,well,they're just BARN cats,after all.All our best-martha and p-doggu

  4. I loved this poem. Even when I got to the part where I found out it wasn't a real kitty.


    ps. Don't tell but I actually like real kitties. Almost as much as I love a good stuffie maiming.

  5. w00f;s all, heehee me thot u really did git da kitty...dat wuzz sooo funny...

    b safe,

  6. *snorting with laughter!*

    I have a similarly disembowelled rabbit on my lawn!

  7. Score this weekend is at 1 rabbit,(gone) one pound puppy (repaired) one tiger (repaired) one lambie (repaired). Muzzer is gettin pretty fast at stitching, cause me and Teka are showin off for E.Rabbit


  8. I was afraid it was a real kitty....My guys don't like real kitties, but going after them can create BIG trouble.

  9. haha - we thought you were talking about a "real" kitty! Whew!

    Love ya lots,
    Maggie and Mitch

  10. You'd better hide because the Chocolate Sisters are comin' to town. And they are a force not to be reckoned with.
    In reality our Godiva loved our dog, Muse, so much that she would follow in her foot steps and curl up next to her when Muse slept. Muse was so tolerant and sweet.
    Maybe I shouldn't have had that UFO beer at the Irish Pub. I'm sure I could make more sense.

  11. Good job with that kittie!
    Kisses and hugs

  12. You are now an honorary Boston Terrier!!

  13. Ha! Now you don't have a chance to maim me because I am miles away. All you have left is puny plushie imitation of the real thing. HA HA HA

    Crabcake Dinsky

  14. Hey we know all about eviscerating those pesky kitties.

    Nearly, Buster and Skeezix

  15. We love those kitties -- we have four of them -- two old and dirty and two new and clean -- and we take good care of them because they're among our favorite toys!!!

    Wow,imagine whippets being fiercier than we terriers!!!

    Jake and Just Harry

  16. Yay! Poetry about maiming, and Patience, two of my favorite things combined! Missed you at the Eastern.

  17. Wow, we have three or four of those kitties and they are all still intact. You whippets must be pretty fierce -- fiercer than a terrier?- that's fierce!!

    Wirey woofs,

    Jake and Just Harry (via the Heron-cam)


Love your comments! Love them we do. Don't be bashful! Thank you for visiting :-)