OH GOOD GRIEF!
Let's see. Here are my excuses, in no particular order:
- Bill's been gone for a week and gets home tonight!!! Yipppeeeee!! I like to think of myself as a strong, independent woman hear me roar, but without Bill as a daily presence in my life I'm a bit untethered. OK, so I am more than a bit untethered to begin with. The fact is, that Bill is my life. He is my breath and my pulse, the essence of my me-ness. He makes me laugh and he makes me think and he makes me better.
- I am doing a book reading today! Fifty-three people have signed up to hear me at the Library. I'm more than a little nervous. I wish I could take Sam I Am with me for courage and inspiration! If you, dear readers, could send mesmerizing, powerful, irresistible "Buy... her... book..." thoughts to the unsuspecting fifty-three in the audience, I would be most beholden to you! And while you are at it, you could send me a thought of "you can do it" and "ha ha ha you are just so entertaining ho ho he he he!" Oh Lordy, I am just going to stand up there and bore fifty-three people into a deep coma and they won't have enough ambulances to handle them all and we'll have to call in the National Guard and it will make the national news and forever I'll be known as the most boring human alive and I'll be in the Guinness book of records and we'll starve.
- It got cold again. My brain, that itty bitty piece of it that is still rattling around in the hollow space in my head where the whole thing used to live, is frozen. (It's supposed to warm up today.)
- Since Bill has been gone, there are many more dogs sleeping in my bed. They rob me of my oxygen and dig toenails into my eye sockets and emit noxious gasses which drug my brain into a forgetful state so that right after I give them biscuits, my gassed brain thinks, "Hey! I need to give the dogs their biscuits!"
- Forgetfulness is a sign and symptom of pasta withdrawal. (So is the five pounds I've lost this week!)
Those are my excuses, and I'm sticking to them. I'll go print up all the entries and do the drawing and post results.
hug your inspirational hounds
Posts
Oh, you and Bill are making me barf with your lovey blogs. Can't wait till he gets back so you two can stop it and get a room!
ReplyDeletePatience could not bore an audience if she tried to!!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about the audience. And why can't Sam I AM go with you at least? Muzzer says because everyone would be watching him and wanting to pet him and not listening to you. She might be right. I still think it is unfair.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad. We forgot about the contest too.
kisses
gussie
Bill is totally objective, too. And he wasn't at the poetry reading night when all the college aged, angry young poets read their powerful words, and I got up and read my little story and pierced people were sliding under their chairs in deep comas, and skinny latte's were crashing to the floor as their owners' hands unclenched them, anesthetized into a deep, tattooed, snoring ennui.
ReplyDeletearrrrgh!!!
P
Tanner bops Mom in the face almost every night while she is sleeping, and I take care of the gas attack. Sounds like you guys sure are lucky! We can't wait to see who wins!
ReplyDeleteHow was the book reading?
ReplyDeleteI agree with Bill, I know Patience and "boring" is not something she's capable of. I'm sure it went just swimmingly...and we'd like to hear all about it.
ReplyDeleteOh my. Thanks for the evening laugh Pee!
ReplyDeleteHugs