The Best Laid Plans

It is a gloriously gorgeous day in Western Kentucky. Finally. Sunny. Mid fifties. Light breeze. And I'm letting it go to waste. I should be shot.



First I must admit a bit of folly on my part which turned into embarrassment and mortification. There is a wonderful blogging group called Dogs With Blogs. It is huge, with 812 blogs listed, and for the most part the blogs are maintained by the dogs themselves, with the humans acting only as secretaries or editors. Many - most - of the kind "folks" who comment on my stories are dogs who belong to this group. Each month, members of the group nominate and vote on blogs worthy of the Awesome Blog Award. This is what the Awesome Blog Award looks like:



Well, I thought it was pretty funny/cool/coincidental/remarkable/whatever that the Awesome Blog Award sported a whippet! Clearly not a greyhound, even, but a lovely whippet. So, in a fit of mammoth idiocy, I posted on the nomination forum that I thought the dog on the award looked exactly like Lindy Loo's daddy:
And I said, "OK, I am not nominating myself, but..."

Well don't they look alike?

Of course the forum moderator thought I most certainly was nominating myself, or maybe she was simply trying to alleviate a bit of my dogs' embarrassment at having such a dork for a servant, and next thing I knew this blog was nominated. I explained there had been a horrid mistake, that I did not mean to nominate myself. But it was too late, as the voting had started.

Needless to say, I came in L.A.S.T. in the votes. The dogs, having been bred for centuries to come in first, hate to come in last at anything, (I can't say it was great for my ego) and so they have been posting notices on some other dogs' blogs about putting me up for adoption and getting a new Servant. One which doesn't succumb to acts of imbecility, least of all not on large public forums. One which doesn't drop full cookie sheets of Simple Simon Bones and then start screaming NO DOGS NO DOGS GET OUT HOT HOT HOT NO DOGS. One which would maybe run the five to seven miles a day that this one plods along at a thumping walk, to get them all exercised. One which could find her way to a dog show occasionally or whoopee maybe even a Lure Trial, remember those?

And then, my local NPR station had kindly asked me to do live, on air fundraising again during the prime spot of A Prairie Home Companion. It is aired on Saturday evening and Sunday noon time, and not only was I given the honor of fundraising during the most popular show, I was given my choice of which. Trying to be a good supporter of public radio, I replied that I would take whichever day they needed me. I hadn't heard back and then yesterday, Bill said, "You haven't forgotten that we've been invited to dinner and to the symphony on Saturday, have you?" Well of course I had. I practically forget to pull my pants down before peeing and you want me to remember dinner? So I called the radio station thinking I had a fifty fifty chance. I could have been scheduled for Sunday's show and everything would be fine.

I was scheduled for Saturday's show, and why on Earth did I think it would be any different? I had to tell them I was letting them down. Great. So now I'm an imbecile, an idiot, and a letter downer duty shirker.

I actually entered two dog shows. I haven't shown Swede William or Lindy Loo or Emmett since August. There are four shows a half an hour south of Nashville on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. That's a three hour drive which is close for dog shows here. I am reading in The Vagina Monologues (a benefit for our women's shelter and a charity to end violence against women and girls world wide which has accomplished miracles but has so much more to do) on Saturday night, and the dress rehearsal is Friday, so I only entered Thursday and Sunday's shows. When you enter a show, you know your assigned time can be anywhere from 8 AM to 1 PM and you have no say in the matter. I was hoping for a late ring time. Three hour drive each way and late, tiring night on Saturday. Got my ring times in the mail. Eight thirty AM on Thursday. Eight AM on Sunday. Great.

And then the jewel in my crown. We have planned that Swede William would go to his favorite Aunt Heather's house and play with his best friend Emmett and hang out with Edgar and Baby Ben when Lindy Loo became Too Tempting for Words or Living With. Things were starting to get heated up and sweet kind Heather said, "Bring him on over." We were both looking forward to Emmett (Lindy Loo's litter brother) having Swede William to play with in their nice big yard, and giving Heather extra free time with Baby Ben. When Heather and Jason go away, Edgar and Emmett come stay here, and are sterling citizens and fit in just fine. I expect my dogs to be sterling citizens if they have sleepovers at other folks houses, and generally they are.

Swede William was not a sterling citizen. Despite Heather's best efforts (and my dogs adore her, make no mistake) Swede William would not go to sleep. He would not shut up. Luciano went and stayed with Heather a few years ago and had a great time. (And Luciano is special in his head!!!) But Swede William cried and screamed all night long. She put him in bed, he cried. She put him back in his crate, he wailed. She went downstairs on the couch finally after trying to call me at four in the morning because she thought he was being emotionally scarred. We don't have a phone in our bedroom, or I would have gone and got him right then and there.

I feel atrocious about the whole thing. Poor, poor, dear Heather! I would never ever have taken Swede William if I thought he would deprive her of a minute's sleep much less all night long. All NIGHT!!! I feel a moliminous amount of guilt. I retrieved him immediately when I got her phone call, which I doltishly answered with a cheery, "Was he a very good boy last night?"

Ah. I see that as I've been writing this, the sky has clouded over. At least I'm not wasting the perfectly good sunshine any more.


I don't have anything to wear to a symphony???? All of my dressy clothes have liver stains on the pockets from dog shows.




hug your hounds, mine deserve better.
Oh and go visit the blogs who won! The winner of the Awesome Blog Award is the very deserving Ruby at http://wonderruby.blogspot.com/ , and the Featured blog is the fantastic http://cubbygoesdigital.blogspot.com/ . You will see why we had no business in the embarrassing confusion.