Friday, May 1, 2009

Home


Home.

Coming home to a house with nine whippets is not a feat for the weak of heart, nor for the (literally) thin skinned. Whippets are celebrated sufferers of E.G.D. (Excessive Greeting Disorder)

A homecoming is a cause for hysteria and hoopla. For screaming and whoopteedoooos. For wagging and barking and jumping. For toy shaking and stuffie murder.

And there is the all-important full body claw drag. Luciano is the Champion of the full body claw drag. He inherited this talent, along with his beautiful headpiece, from his sire Caruso. Here's the technique:


  1. wander up, in the midst of the melee of welcoming madness, to the object of the welcome

  2. be cool. act casually nonchalant

  3. quietly jump up on the welcomee, placing one paw on each collarbone

  4. extend toenails, so that they wrap around each collarbone and extend into the welcomee's clavicular grooves

  5. plant a little kiss on the welcomee's lips. If you can sneak your tongue up her nostril, so much the better.

  6. stretch

  7. now, keeping toenails fully extended, drag your front feet down the entire length of the welcomee's body. Extra points are given for shredded clothing and drawing actual blood.

When Caruso did his full body claw drag, we said we had been "Caruso-fied." He left big long welts. Every. Single. Time. Luciano is approaching his dad's proficiency. Swede William has adapted his own special stealth version. He comes from behind and does rapid fire claw rakes down the back of the welcomee's legs. Very exciting if the welcomee is wearing shorts. Best of all if the welcomee is wearing a loose dress or skirt. The toenails can effeciently hook around the underpants, and one well-timed rake can produce all sorts of excitement.

Easy and Spice were the leaders of this Welcoming Committee. Spice had spent the four days of my absence curled up on Bill's lap. (Bless sweet Delia for sharing her Bill without so much as a 'humpf'.) Their surprised expressions when I came through the door turned to relief and then revelry. They thought they had lost yet another human, but there I was, home again.

I always enjoy demonstrations of E. G. D. It's loud, it's raucous, it's so against the rules. It can devolve into a group howl, which is always good for the soul. It's over in a minute or two.

And it lets you know that you are home where you belong. If you had any doubt.



hug your hounds

19 comments:

  1. We know EVERYONE is glad you're home.
    Welcome back.

    :) Jake and Fergi :)

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  2. Your dogs are beautiful. I miss our dog so much.

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  3. Oh - I laughed. I think Ed does this full body drag, but begins on top of the Bed. Em follows WIlliams lead. Gets your but with both paws. Welcome home.

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  4. I never knew these demonstrations had names. Both Athena and Wallace are fans of the full body drag, although Wallace is worse because he is so much more muscular and -solid- than she is.

    Glad you are home where you belong. :) Have a good long howl with the Waggle!

    --Amanda

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  5. A perfect description of EGD which occurs wherever discriminating Whippets gather with the objects of their adoration!

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  6. Our Mom has always felt so guilty when we do our full body welcoming dance at the door -- with jumps, and licks, and rapid-fire tail wags.

    But knowing how much training the whippet waggle has had, and how attentive you are to their manners -- she feels much relieved to know there are some things even the best trained dogs in the world cannot resist: Welcoming home the beloved servant!!!

    So welcome home, Patience!!! How is your sister? We hope you can "settle" for a moment.

    Wirey woofs, tail wags, and full-body jumps!!!

    Jake and Just Harry (and a somewhat less guilt-ridden Mom)

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  7. My neighbors used to see this happen to me and think my two were so wild!!
    None of them knew of Whippet behavior. If I tried to explain they didn't believe me.
    Who cares anyway, Right!!!I was the lucky one surrounded by their Whippet magic love.
    Murphy managed the claw, but he sprang quickly and caught me a few times as Sara did a mini version from behind! LOL!
    I'd give anything to have it all again.

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  8. Glad you are home safe and sound.

    Licks,

    Nearly

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  9. Francarrich from WWMay 1, 2009 at 1:22 PM

    I can picture & feel it all! Banjo bounces off me, to the middle of the room, up onto the settee then back again for a repeat performance, several times. My thighs & arms are a permanent mess of bruises. Looking great for the coming summer months!
    I wondered how Easy & Spice would cope with your disappearance so soon after settling in with you, hopefully they now realize that you do come back.
    Welcome home,
    Wags from Banjo & Aida.

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  10. I too love EGD! It is part of the unique experience of sharing your life with whippets.

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  11. Welcome Home! if we could be jumping up and celebrating with you, we would be! there is NOTHING as welcoming as EGD. yes, it's against the rules, but we love it so!

    woofs.

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  12. Oh my...I thought the full body drag was a Teka specialty. Except, muzzer is such a sucker that she always bends down to let Teka get hooked into the skin, and then complains about the scratchies.

    gussie

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  13. A nice welcome home from a pack of 9 beautiful doggies! I just can imagine it!
    Glad you are back!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

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  14. Nice to be home in the pack again!! Whippet-Good!!!

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  15. A great welcome home, Patience! I think the Whippets missed you!
    Your posts are the BEST!

    Love ya lots,
    Maggie and Mitch

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  16. Ah yes, I have a non-whippet who does the rapid-claw-drag technique on the leg. Now I have another reason to never wear skirts or loose dresses - thanks for a great laugh!
    I received the full body claw from my friend's whippet last night. I thought he was just wanting my fish and chips, but now I know he was exhibiting a time-honoured and Caruso-tested tradition. I feel special.
    Welcome home.

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  17. Martha and P-doggyMay 2, 2009 at 12:20 PM

    Ah,yes the "tongue-up-the-nostril" move-another practiced to make it look accidental tradition! Welcome home,Dear P!

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  18. Hello!

    We be the Dog Woods Pack (from the heart of Borneo)!

    We laughed when we read the description of claw-drag. One of the reasons why the Chief in Dog Woods hardly wears anything remotely frilly or skirty.

    She's all decked up in denims - to protect her thinned skin from all that enthusiastic stcratches and bruises.

    Hehehe.

    LIcks and Wags

    TUffy and teh Dog WOods Pack

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  19. My perfect Clara is, herself, a master of the "Lift Up The Covers So I can Get Under Them" Body drag. Same technique as the rapid-fire back of the legs body claw, this one is directed at the highest point where the blanket is drawn on the prone human body. Effective, annoying and, often, painful!

    Linda Z

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