Okay, Dear Readers. Right here, right now, if you are not a 100% bona fide dog person (Dog Person, but I didn't want to be cutesie) thank you for stopping by. Don't read any farther. Further? Move along. It was great to see you.
Your writer has faced some gritty facts of life of late. Things over which I have no control, no power. No amount of screaming or ranting, bargaining or pleading on my part could change anything.
Easy and Spice are the two darling senior dogs who joined the whippet waggle after my sweet friend died of brain cancer. Easy has recurrent thyroid cancer. I'm an RN. Bill is an MD. Plus, I've had animals all of my life. I know that disease and dying is all part of this marvelous, miraculous life.
But. I noticed yesterday morning that Spice was uncomfortable when she pooped. "Hmm," I said. I examined her and found a large, hard mass at the base of her tail, extending to her anus. My first thought was loud, angry, and unworthy of repeating here. It involved a lot of ugly words aimed at Whoever is In Charge. I thought I was looking at a malignant rectal tumor.
Oh. Dear. Lord.
Eventually, my brain fired up some synapses, crackled up some rational thought, and made a little sense. A mass that size doesn't just appear overnight. It wouldn't appear outside of the pelvic bone. Think again, brain. Think! Another gentle palpation produced the facts that, (a) this mass was hot, (b) it was excruciatingly tender, and (c) uh-oh, holy pus-filled horror, stand back, Stanly, this was an anal gland abscess of alarming proportions.
I called my Dear Vet.
Calling your Dear Vet on a Saturday in Kentucky right as the Derby horses were parading in the paddock at Churchill Downs isn't nice. Calling your Dear Vet on Derby Day with the Mother of All Anal Gland Abscesses? Ish. Fortunately I had some lovely antibiotics left over from my own tooth abscess. "Yes," she said. "That would work. And give her an anti-inflammatory. And some hot compresses will make her feel better. I better see her on Monday, or call back if you need to for any reason."
I love my vets.
Here's the thing. Who would have ever thought that a gigantic anal gland abscess, nicely coming to a head, would be the good news?
You just have to laugh.
And hug your hounds. Especially the sweet ones with stinky pus butts. Poor thing's been through too much. But it's not cancer.