Thursday, January 8, 2009

Support Socks


Dear readers, your humble writer recently discovered something of great magnitude. This breakthrough is way too important to keep to myself. The disemenation of the information in this little blog post could change the very course of the world. It's that momentous.


Please take three deep cleansing breaths, eyes closed, to ready your mind.

One.

Two.

Three. Ahhhh. Are you open to the possibility of living at a new level of consciousness? Yes, you are?

Your writer has stumbled (forgive the pun) upon the secret of happiness. Contentment. Being at peace with one's world. Fulfillment, serenity, you name it. Better than drugs, the legal sort of which all have pesky side effects, and the illicit ones which carry peskier jail sentences along with significant health risks. Much better than today's organized religion, which seems to make people feel the need to (a) blow up folks of different faiths, (b) feel all superior to folks with differing beliefs, because nanny nanny boo boo we're the only ones going to Heaven, (c) justify the need to go to people who are perfectly content with the beliefs they learned from their ancestors and convert them due to (b), or (d) just gives us reasons to feel different from "them" whoever "them" is. This secret is even better than yoga, because there's virtually no time or effort involved.
A writer with different motivation than your humble one would find a way to market this magnificent discovery, but no, this is too sacred to taint with commercial gain.


Support socks.


Your writer found herself challenged in the sock department of late. Walking dogs five miles a day, coupled with abject poverty, lends one to holey footwear. (Wholly holey, but not holy.) Compounding the problem is Swede William's predilection of carrying my socks to far corners of the house, proudly, giving them a good-hearted shake along the way. So, as I was dressing for a job interview, I asked Bill if he had any thin socks I might borrow.

"Yes," he said, tossing me a pair. "In fact, you may keep these. I never wear them."

Little did I know, dear readers, that my world was about to change.

Now, let me clear up a potential confusion, before I go one step farther. Your writer has plenty of support hose. Panty hose are the work of the devil. They cut the circulation to your spleen, and cause gaseous distention at the transverse colon. Oh they are hideous evil.

We're talking support socks.

As I tried to put these precious gifts on, I said, "Ummf." This was proving to be no easy feat. I remembered my days as a hospital RN, putting TEDD hose on portly patients. It's all in the technique, and in no time my legs were bathed in support, from just below the knees, down. My toes were free to spread and breathe, but around my instep and arch was a most delicious snugness. I was immediately struck with a sense of well-being and joy.

Oh! These feel good!"



... to be continued HERE


hug your hounds, meanwhile, and by all means find yourselves some support socks
(Image from Google Images)


25 comments:

  1. Speechless. Really. Will get back to you....

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  2. I have every intention of buying 2 dozen more of this magical footwear...it has changed my life!!

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  3. I'll have to investigate this..most of Mommi's awe unmatched and full of holes too as Mommi only weaws socks when walking me. At home she wuns awound bawefoot ow in snippews if it's extwememly cold, but these could even be wown undew pants wif high hellses and that would be sooo gweat
    thanks Patients fow once again changing lives fow the bettew
    smoochie kisses
    ASTA

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  4. Our Mom, who has the ugliest paws in the world, walks around barepawed. She says she gets claustrophobia of the paw when she wears panty hose. She barely managed to wear tights and boots when it was 7 degrees out in Mayemphis.

    Do you think she would enjoy support socks under those conditions???

    Now that she is pretending to be lame because of my 25 pounds on her lap as we journeyed from place to place, I am very interested in your answer.

    Professor Jake

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  5. Oops, I meant 7 degrees in St. Louis, but Mayemphis. But I'm a dog, what do I know????

    Jake

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  6. OH! what a great idea. We thought support socks were going to have pictures of whippets on them, and be to support rescue. These might be even better. Muzzer has some running socks, which she loves even though she doesn't run any more, but darker would be better, and maybe not so thick? However, can you tell us if these come in children's sizes. She is a bit vertically challenged, and her feet are not adult sized either. (and she has a hard time keeping the heel in place on the runny socks, and thinks maybe it would be worser if thnner?)

    gussie

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  7. You sure have the blog with solutions for everything! LOL :)

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  8. Correction has been duly noted and Swede William identified as receiver of Teka's message.

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  9. I have to admit that when I first read the title of this post, I thought that I would have to support socks on some crazy cause. With relief I see that it's just support socks, phew!!

    I have thought of these but I am diabetic and I also have an arthritic calcium bump on top of my left foot...TMI, I know...I worry that the pressure will hurt.

    However, I support your cause to wear support socks!
    hugs,
    puglette
    :o)

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  10. What? What happens now? Can't wait...

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  11. We just lost mom! She went racing upstairs to see what dad has in his sock drawer! Thanks, Patience!

    Love ya lots
    Maggie and Mitch

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  12. My mom says that panty-hose is the worst thing in the whole world!
    I can't wait to read the next part!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

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  13. This blog provides me with all of the virtue attributed to the magical sox. You, are my support sox.

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  14. Yes, support socks are extraordinary, LOL

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  15. My girl is completely and utterly intrigued. DO tell more!

    She agrees with you that panty hose are the work of the devil.

    Can't wait to hear more.

    Goober love & smooches,
    Stanley

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  16. You mean these overpronating feet would benefit from support socks? Now if they keep the feet warm that is a bonus too! Panty hose should not be allowed.

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  17. hmmmmmm how do they look with a tennis skirt? LOL ... even Madison is thinking that H-Mom has lost her noodles now.

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  18. hmmm socks huh? Mom goes completely crazy over silly PYREX so you can go just was wacky about socks!! We can't wait to hear more!!

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  19. Well gee. Really?
    If you're walking dogs five miles a day, you should know what's comfortable, I suppose!!

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  20. Martha and P-doggyJanuary 10, 2009 at 1:31 PM

    Amen,dear P,AMEN!!!

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  21. Just caught up on ur blog, Patience...so...back to work as a nurse??

    I can give you buckets of encouragement...I was off work from...hmm...January of '86 until I started the refresher course on Sept. 10, 2001...if you look at that date carefully you can imagine what day 2 of the Refresher Course was like...when the plane went down in PA they sent us home...did I turn on the TV? No...I studied...and continued to study for the next 3 months...I went back to hospital nursing in Feb. of 02...went to an ortho floor and worked nights for a year and a half and transferred to PACU...the technology changes daily...the patients don't change...but the elderly seem very very young....as I am a helluva lot older!

    Where do you have to go to take ur course? Email me if you get a chance...kreitm@gmail.com

    You can do this...and you'll be darn good at it! Flexibility...it's all about embracing, not resisting change...

    Love to you and those Whippets...

    Mumsie...Marilyn and the rest of the clan....

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  22. We'll eat any socks - those look yummy!

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  23. If Bill says they are working I believe it! WOW...gotta love the simple things! r

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  24. Patience, do you have the details of the support socks?

    Luv
    Snowball

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  25. Support socks?? Wow!! Who'da thunk?

    Thanks for the tip. My feet are awful and getting worse by the day! And, as I age, they are getting bigger and bigger and bigger...


    Love and Koobuss Kisses,
    Koobie's Mom

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