Thursday, May 29, 2008

Thoughtless Thursday - Random Ramblings

We had two days of hard rain. Yesterday I picked up the yard. For those of you with scant numbers of dogs, skipping two days of pooper scooping wouldn't sound bad. I normally scoop twice a day, or more. Missing two days when you have nine dogs is like missing eighteen days of scooping if you have one dog. There you go. And the rain added a delightful unscoopability to the whole process.

Good thing I really love dogs.

To my neighbors who think I need more scooping to do and let their dogs poop with impunity outside our fence and leave it there as a special treat for me:

Let me imagine your stupid, lazy, irresponsible, ignorant redneck, innocent thought process. "Oh," you think. "Patience picks up all that poop everyday, she must love it and I am doing her a favor by leaving her some extra. What a good, considerate neighbor I am."

Oh you are so wrong. I pick up enough damn poop and I don't want yours. I am setting up infra-red heat-seeking missiles motion activated video cameras to catch you in the act. I am taking the evidence two places. The video will go to the police where you will then be eligible for a fine up to $1000. Ha ha ha ha!!! Cool beans!!! And I'm taking the other evidence and I'm putting it in your mailbox. Without the benefit of a baggie! HA HA HA HA HA HA I LOVE IT!!!! OH YEAH!!!!

I left Sammy in the bedroom this morning. We go downstairs in the morning in two groups, to avoid bottle necks and mayhem and trampling of Very Old Dogs. Sam I Am is in the second group. I had let everyone out to do their business and was putting down the breakfast bowls. No Sammy. "Where's Sam? Oh criminy, did I forget to open his crate?" Saint Bill ran upstairs, and soon I heard Sam I Am galloping down the hall above my head. I had opened his crate, but he was dawdling apparently and I closed the bedroom door before he exited. I doubt that he'll dawdle tomorrow.

We surprised Aynex (pronounced Eye Necks, you'll remember) on her way to the airport yesterday. Her neighbors gathered on her way out of Lowertown to wave goodbye.

(I had to edit the sign since this is a family friendly blog.)

Charter members of the Aynex fan club (Don't they just look like artistes!)

Pilates interruptus. (The construction workers driving by during the down dogs were highly appreciative!)

We made her laugh and cry.

Oh how we will miss her.

Thank you to all who have ordered from my website! I'll post photos of happy customers on the website and here as they arrive. Thanks to Aynex's last minute tutelage, I've made some minor changes to the web pages!!! Aynex said it all when she was talking to a friend on her cell phone. "It's going quicker than I thought it would," she said. (Translation: "Patience is not the GIANT IDIOT I thought she was.") It's quite gratifying, but I am still way out of my element. I would like to get a new page up for special sales, but we didn't get to the new page part... Plus I have LOTS of non-collar goodies for all kinds of dogs from my gift store, A Dog In the Garden, to upload. We'll see what I can figure out.

hug your hounds


  1. Oh Yeah...muzzer hates people who let their doggies poop in our front yard, so me and Teka bark and bark at the doggies. We try to help muzzer whenever we can. Thanks for the info on the car seat thing. and tell Aynex we will miss her face on your pages, so she's gotta visit soon.


  2. Nobody likes poop more than me, but I think that is really inconsiderate of your neighbors.

  3. Hi Patience! I love your blog, I read it almost daily. I so wish I had a legit reason to go to Paducha, other than just to visit you and Snoopy's dad, VOD and the rest of your waggle :)
    So you are the expert on all things whippet, (and apparently some sort of an expert on poop!) but I feel I must humbly and respectlfully correct your pilates knowledge...the ladies in the picture appear to be doing what I know as Side Twist, an advanced mat piece, not downward dog, which is actually a yoga term, although we do it in pilates sometimes. And why, by the way, aren't you out there, on the street, in front of construction workers, doing it with them? :)

    Okay, so I spend too much time at the pilates studio, although I love it...I've been doing it for 3and 1/2 yrs and am more than halfway thru the Fletcher teacher training program to certify me to teach it.

    So I may know pilates, but between Snoopy and your blog, I learn more and more about the wacky, funny and heartwarming things whippets do every day. I so totally enjoy your writing, keep it up and I look forward to reading your novel!


  4. People in our area don't just take their dogs for walks and not pick up after them, they don't bother even having them in fenced yards, so they are free to poop and bark at my dogs and all that fun stuff. This includes the people who live across from our local elementary school and although there are signs on the school fence saying 'no dogs' sadly, the dogs can't read.

  5. Goodbye,Eye-Necks-ya'll come back soon,ya hear? Thanks for the stupendous video ane helping dear P,too. Martha and the P-doggy

  6. Here we have lots of stray dogs so you can find poop on every street!
    My mom says that is not nice!
    Kisses and hugs

  7. While your dogs are super cute, I'm not jealous of your poop picking up duties. Picking up tiny chihuahua poo is enough for me!

  8. That is quite the poop duty that you have. Don't get in trouble with the Federal Government for putting unauthorized items in the mail holders.

  9. Mom says poop duty twice a day is sure a lot and it's so not nice to add to your work load!
    What a neat send off Aynex got! We're going to miss her too!

    Love ya lots,
    Maggie and Mitch

  10. I love to see you when you are out picking up poop! Your eyes have such a sense of concentration in them! The cameras and the missiles sound like a wonderful idea! I will have to hide and watch.

  11. Frustration...I just lost my post...anyway...

    I'm so glad that Aynex is so polite. My daughter rolls her eyes so far back in her head that I'm afraid she's going to hurt herself...and the's so exasperated that I feel guilty for stressing her out. I think it's payback for the times I lost patience with her.

    I also want to strangle folks who don't clean up after their animals. I think they're the same people whose time is more valuable than anyone else's.

    P.S. Pico can't wait to get her new collar and leash!

  12. Good thing that you crossed out 'redneck' from that lengthy list of adjectives because I am sure that there are no rednecks there.
    I, too, hate stealth poopers. It really chaps my ass when I find poop on my teeny-teeny-tiny yard. It's so un-neighborly.
    I'm coming out in July....let's have a dog walk and lunch!

  13. The image of you picking up poop for nine dogs is not what I needed before I had my coffee. Seeing you guys in the corner holding that banner was the best send off ever. Every time I think about it I tear up.

  14. Forgot to say that if you need help with the site we can have a phone lesson.

  15. I feel your poop pain and I feel like a slacker compared to your poop duty. :)

    The Brats want collars too, I just have to figure out which ones!


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