This Blasted Year!

[If this is your first visit to this blog, do me a favor and scroll down and look for "Readers' Choices on the right. Pick any of those stories. Just skip this. Please.]

Oh.

I shouldn't say I can't wait until this year is over. I'll never get that time back, after all, now will I?

But.

I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THIS YEAR IS OVER.

Just a brief recap. And I'll run it all together and zip right through it because it's not cheery and fun and who wants to read it all, but I want to RANT and it's my blog and I truly do try to keep you Dear Readers in mind but here I go anyway and you can just skip this and come back later.

Last November I took Maria in for some tummy troubles and we found a big awful mass and I took her body to be cremated that day instead of bringing her home and in December I was talking to my dear friend, Carolyn, on the phone, hearing her cheerful voice rising above her glioblastoma, and she said "Greg is sleeping too late, I'm going to wake him up," and then Ping called me to tell me that when Carolyn went to wake him, she found her husband, her best friend in kindergarten, she found him dead, and when she asked me if I would take Easy and Spice "after" I said I'd be proud to, and I prayed that Easy would defy all odds and outlive his beloved Carolyn, which he did.

And then in one week in the end of March Carolyn died and I was glad I had been there for her birthday just weeks before, and my sister was admitted for 'constipation' which was oh by the way stage four ovarian cancer, and my shadow my Giacomino days shy of fifteen couldn't rely on his legs anymore and I held him and kissed him and SCREAMED all the way to the crematorium and I called Bill on the way home and SCREAMED I CAN'T STOP SCREAMING.

And he helped.

And I did what it took to reactivate my RN license and I worked the 12 hour shifts for free as part of the refresher course and the job that was promised turned out to be 7 pm to 7 am and you know what? No. Been there, done that. So I still don't have a job, no I wasn't let go I never started and then Spice's eye bugged out, her beautiful sweet eye, and I knew that Easy's every day is a miracle, but I was going to make Carolyn proud and
Spice was going to live to sixteen and then there I was again driving back to the damn
crematorium town, only a different facility because I could NOT WOULD NOT go back to the screaming place.

I got my first EVER rejection for a piece of writing, well I guess I was due, but the timing sure sucks.

And now my Mama Pajama has elevated pancreatic enzymes and this morning I made her yelp trying to pry her mouth open to take her meds and she wouldn't eat boiled chicken even and oh I'm scared and I cannot post something cheery
here.

I'm sorry.

I will be glad when this year is over.

hug your hounds