Adventures in Walking

These days whippets are joined on their walks by their sweet, spunky neighbor, Francie. That means I am joined on my walks by Francie's sweet, spunky human, Tracey. Francie is just adorable. She's an accidental mix between a romantic Corgi and a determined Yorkie. She looks like a Benji with big, fringed, stand up ears and sawed-off legs. I think today is her first birthday!!! Happy Birthday, Francie!!!

Tracey looks nothing at all like Benji, but is tall, and glamorous. She is a gifted writer (I try not to be envious) and a talented artist. She is so funny, that I often have to stop at the public rest rooms down by the river, because at my age laughing that hard out in the cold is a hazard. Tracey is also deeply and honestly religious. So much so that she is kind, generous, and non-judgemental of my heathen ways. She walks the walk.

Okay, so we were walking in the bitter cold. We passed an empty building on the edges of downtown. Two young men were standing on the corner; not a corner where folks usually hang out. The younger one spoke.

"Djoo ahh phun nomburrr sexy?"

I'm pretty good at deciphering heavy accents. It's one of my talents. It came in very handy when I worked in the O.R., only I would think in a Filipino accent when I went home. But I knew I hadn't gotten that right. I stopped, and looked puzzled, so the young man repeated his question.

"Djoo ahh phun nomburrr sexy?"

Tracey and Francie kept on going, and she turned and spoke firmly to me, "KEEP WALKING!"

I said to the young man, "I didn't understand. Try again."

Tracey, with a look of panic called to me, "No! No! No! No!"

The young man repeated, "Djoo ahh phun nomburrr sexy?"

Now, I thought I heard 'Do you have a phone number, Sexy,' but I also knew that I looked like this:

If he had been directing his question at Tracey, that would have made sense, but he was talking to me, and in no fantasy land would I be remotely considered sexy. I asked him to try one more time. Tracey, distressed at my idiocy and worried for my virtue, pressed on, urgently crying, "Walk on, Patience! NO! Keep going!!!"

The young man tried once more.

"Do joo hab phone number of TAXI?" They did have suitcases and were a block from the Greyhound Bus station.

"HEY, Christian woman!!!!" I called to Tracey, making my hands mimic the opening of a book. A certain Holy Book. "They need HELP!"

Well, luckily we had just stopped to pee, because we laughed so hard over the notion that the handsome visitors could find anything remotely SEXY about this old dog walker!!! And as soon as I translated for Tracey, she rushed back to help them and apologized profusely for the misunderstanding.

The dogs just enjoyed the hilarity.

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Oh and in addition to wishing Francie a happy birthday, please join me in wishing our neighbor Cooper a happy sixth birthday! Cooper lives with the whippets' Auntie Karen, who also walks with us when her work isn't as busy as it has been lately.

Happy Birthday COOOOOOOPER!!!

Happy Birthday to YOUOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

hug your hounds