Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Adventures in Walking

These days whippets are joined on their walks by their sweet, spunky neighbor, Francie. That means I am joined on my walks by Francie's sweet, spunky human, Tracey. Francie is just adorable. She's an accidental mix between a romantic Corgi and a determined Yorkie. She looks like a Benji with big, fringed, stand up ears and sawed-off legs. I think today is her first birthday!!! Happy Birthday, Francie!!!
Tracey looks nothing at all like Benji, but is tall, and glamorous. She is a gifted writer (I try not to be envious) and a talented artist. She is so funny, that I often have to stop at the public rest rooms down by the river, because at my age laughing that hard out in the cold is a hazard. Tracey is also deeply and honestly religious. So much so that she is kind, generous, and non-judgemental of my heathen ways. She walks the walk.

Okay, so we were walking in the bitter cold. We passed an empty building on the edges of downtown. Two young men were standing on the corner; not a corner where folks usually hang out. The younger one spoke.

"Djoo ahh phun nomburrr sexy?"

I'm pretty good at deciphering heavy accents. It's one of my talents. It came in very handy when I worked in the O.R., only I would think in a Filipino accent when I went home. But I knew I hadn't gotten that right. I stopped, and looked puzzled, so the young man repeated his question.

"Djoo ahh phun nomburrr sexy?"

Tracey and Francie kept on going, and she turned and spoke firmly to me, "KEEP WALKING!"

I said to the young man, "I didn't understand. Try again."

Tracey, with a look of panic called to me, "No! No! No! No!"

The young man repeated, "Djoo ahh phun nomburrr sexy?"

Now, I thought I heard 'Do you have a phone number, Sexy,' but I also knew that I looked like this:

If he had been directing his question at Tracey, that would have made sense, but he was talking to me, and in no fantasy land would I be remotely considered sexy. I asked him to try one more time. Tracey, distressed at my idiocy and worried for my virtue, pressed on, urgently crying, "Walk on, Patience! NO! Keep going!!!"

The young man tried once more.

"Do joo hab phone number of TAXI?" They did have suitcases and were a block from the Greyhound Bus station.

"HEY, Christian woman!!!!" I called to Tracey, making my hands mimic the opening of a book. A certain Holy Book. "They need HELP!"

Well, luckily we had just stopped to pee, because we laughed so hard over the notion that the handsome visitors could find anything remotely SEXY about this old dog walker!!! And as soon as I translated for Tracey, she rushed back to help them and apologized profusely for the misunderstanding.

The dogs just enjoyed the hilarity.


Oh and in addition to wishing Francie a happy birthday, please join me in wishing our neighbor Cooper a happy sixth birthday! Cooper lives with the whippets' Auntie Karen, who also walks with us when her work isn't as busy as it has been lately.

Happy Birthday COOOOOOOPER!!!
Happy Birthday to YOUOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

hug your hounds


  1. Sexy is in the eye of the beholder!!! BUT Taxi does make sense, and your name is Patience so it all worked out in the end :) Great story, thanks for making us smile.

  2. Ah thanks so much for the laugh that is great. We don't think you look bad. :)

  3. Ha Ha Ha...
    Merry Christmas to you, Bill and the waggle.

  4. Oh boy! compared to muzzer in the morning, you look VERY SAXY, or Taxi, or whatever.


  5. Way too funny!! I had to read it again and still laughed hysterically at the end. Thanks!

    And so good to hear you have another walker. Welcome!

    A chilly walker in frozen WA

  6. We are still laughing out loud here! Thanks, Patience!
    Happy birthday to Francie and Cooper!

    Love ya lots,
    Maggie and Mitch

  7. Happy Birfday to Francie and to Cooper.
    Mommi had to wun to the toilet too, hehehehe
    I heawd young hooman men find oldew ,smawt , bootiful hoomans sexy..I nevew heawd them called taxi though
    love and smoochie kisses

  8. You don't look any worse than the crazy old lady on a good day. It is good to know that you were willing to get to the bottom of the mystery.

  9. ok, now I have to go to the bathroom!

    very funny story. cooper is beautiful. and you have no reason to envy Tracey's talent, you talented sexy thing. i mean, taxi thing.

  10. Oh you do make me laugh! I'm sure a similar incident has happened to me in the past with a friend. I was probably the one who walked on. A touch of déjà vu.....

    Wishing you and Bill a VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS with Lots of Love. xxx

  11. Loved the story and especially loved the picture. Poor Tracey! Have a great Christmas!!

  12. HA that was the funniest thing ever!!! Thanks for giving me a non-traditional Christmas eve laugh!


  13. We wish you a Merry Christmas ,
    We wish you a Merry Christmas ,
    We wish you a Merry Christmas ,

    xoxo ,
    Four Musketeers & Family
    Lady , Zena , Cody & Joyce

  14. Edward and I wish you and all your furry friends a most Happy Christmas Day!!

  15. Merry Christmas Patience and Bill, and big special Christmas snuggles to the Waggle!!

    We shall have proper whippets in the house for New Year!

  16. A-hahahahahahahahahaha!

    But I must say that Francie sounds MIGHTY sexy! All corgi mixes are!

    wally t.

    ps. Happy Pawlidays from one heathen to another. :)

  17. that's a great story, and you tell it perfectly.

    best wishes for a happy christmas and merry good year!


  18. Very funny story. I really enjoyed it.

  19. Classic Patience! I had the same interpretaion as Tracey-yours makes sense though! Happy Holidays to all!

  20. Wow - why can't Mack's walkies be so exciting???


  21. I hope all you bootiful whippets awe having a lovely time wif the gwamhoomanschildwen..don't ovewtiwe youwselves..love and smoochie kisses

  22. so erm, why is that look not sexy? herself needs to know on account of often looking just like that...

  23. Oh dear! ROFL! What's up with the roof?

  24. I just LOVE to read your blogg.
    Your sense of humour is outstanding!!!
    Greetings from northern Sweden!
    Inger/Kennel Shahnadir

  25. I love Tracy. I am laughing at the computer and everyone in the house is wondering what I'm laughing at. You may be sexy in the summer but definately not sexy in the winter.

  26. Hope you, Bill and the Waggle had a wonderful Christmas.

    Vee and Nearly

  27. Your kindness and patience is to be emulated! Me, I would have been on my way down the street with your companion!



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