I don't want to begin this post with a poor me litany, but I need a preface for the thing to make sense.
Let's just say that since March, I've have more than the usual opportunities to build my character. Way more.
Last night I was calmly listing the factors involved in creating the sensation that my head was screwed on too tight. You know, the feeling that your eyeballs didn't fit in your skull anymore and at any moment they would go *BOING* and pop out on cartoon springs, while your ears flap like two flags in a hurricane. Bill listened, and agreed that events over which I have no control were standing in a long line to whack the snot out of me.
"All you can do is take it as it comes and do what you can to get through it," said my wise and wonderful husband.
That conversation happened while I was packing up Swede William and Lindy Loo for their weekly handling class (practice for dog shows) at the Kennel Club. I would pick up Emmett on the way. Sometimes it's a pain in the ass to get up the energy to go.
An Afghan hound breeder and I share the teaching duties. She's been wonderful about taking up the slack when I can't be there. Plus, she's a talented handler. I learn a lot just by watching her.
Last night I wanted to work with Emmett. He needed more one-on-one than I'd been able to give him. Vicki kindly put her own dog away and let me be a participant.
Nothing earth-shattering happened. Emmett did great. I watched other dogs improve. We laughed. We encouraged each other. We celebrated Esther's wins with her Shar Pei puppy - her first ever wins with her first ever show dog. I fed my soul with forkfuls of a silly happy whippet standing like a champion race horse. Wearing a look of eagles and then dissolving in goosey wags. Oh. Wait. Something earth-shattering did happen. My headache went away. The knots in my gut relaxed. I forgot that I was worried. I played with dogs.
I just played with my dogs. And that is what I love to do.