Thursday, July 9, 2009

Stupid and a Half!

I'm a jumpy sort of person. Just born that way.

I avoid scary movies, dark alleys, sudden loud noises. The Fourth of July is not my favorite time of the year.

Fireworks are legal in these parts so my city has been exploding for two weeks. BANG! POP! TZZZZING! POW! With every cherry bomb I jump. Then I'm grateful that there are currently no thunder-phobic dogs here. Oh dear, then I miss the two recently departed thunder phobes. It's that breath taking moment of empty arms.

At last, the seemingly endless supply of explosives has been exhausted. The neighborhood noises have returned to the norm: softer booms and bangs of home construction; the high whine of the tuck-pointer's saw; the train a block over.

We walked extra early this morning. It's getting hot again. The geriatric crew, Fat Charlie, Mama Pajama, Easy, and I were enjoying the barely dawn quiet. We greeted a few other early morning walkers, folks in uniforms, carrying lunches, headed to the bus station to catch a ride to work.

It was peaceful.

And then, out of nowhere, THWACK! Something made a loud CRACK on the sidewalk just five feet in front of the dogs' noses. We all jumped and I let out a little shriek!


I've been walking whippets since 1992, so any sort of shock causes my hands to reflexively tighten my grip on the leashes. That's a good thing because the cause of the THWACK was the King of the Stupid City Squirrels who had fallen out of a tree right above our heads.

Think of it. You're a big fat Stupid City Squirrel. You're sitting in your tree thinking of ways to torment dogs and their humans. Oh, look, here come three dogs with mouths like alligators. Wouldn't you hang on to your branch a little tighter? Nooooo, you do a Stupid City Squirrel nanny-nanny-boo-boo dance, blowing raspberries, and fall out of your tree into the pack of dogs!

I've been extra jumpy today.

Lord knows what will fall out of the sky at us next.

hug your hounds


  1. Oooups... Stupid squirrel. Tee hee..


  2. Yummm...Stoopid Sqrrrlll is my favorite kind.


  3. I have had Stupid Suburb Squirrels fall out of trees in front of my dogs, but never with a THWACK noise. That sounds extra fun!

  4. I had that happen once. The dogs and I were frozen. The squirrel gave a nanny nanny boo dance and scampered away. I think it was just bored.

  5. We've got squirrels with a death wish in my yard.... Maybe they make bets with each other. Like, what's the name of that stupid game kids used to do? Where they would jump in front of moving cars?

    Anyway, I am so, so glad the 4th is over.

  6. He looks vewy well fed and just asking to be chased
    don't be jumpy, you'we biggew than him

    (if you need help call me)
    smoochie kisses

  7. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh we could only PRAY that a stupid could be that stupid with us around....sigh..Love A+A

  8. That experience COULD just make a person a little jumpy! Maybe change your route, there can't be another one THAT dumb, could there?


  9. gordy and georgieJuly 9, 2009 at 7:24 PM

    Paducah-where squirrels fall from the sky or trees. Our person read this and laughed really loudly and told us this had better never happen when we are on walks.

  10. I guess even squirrels can fall out of trees but that just seems strange. They LIVE in trees! That would be like us falling out our front door. Oh, oops, I have done that before. Nevermind!

  11. AHHH...the sky is falling! Great story, Patience...really made me laugh.

  12. Nanny Nanny boo dance! So funny! I would like to see THAT!!

  13. that's like a gift from heaven. did you chase the stupid city squirrel? we would have gone nutso!


  14. Hazel would love for that to happen!

  15. Mom is the same way. She said she has literally fallen to the floor being scared by thunder. WHAT A WEIRDO.

  16. We took your story to the local jail as wonderful object lesson. Since Star the Wonder Dog is no longer with us and providing new parables, we figured that the Story of the King of the Stupid City Squirrels might do the trick.

    Well, let it be known that you had gang girls laughing hysterically and ready to hear what I had to teach for the day.

    Thanks, P.


  17. Mom would have taken mom on quite the run if that would/could have happened to us!

    Love ya lots,
    Maggie and Mitch

  18. It must be that the heat got to him. Right when you walked by. Actually, we're feeling a little sorry for the squirrely (we're that sort of dog) but we're VERY grateful that your Mom kept a tight hold on your leashes.

    Finally... we can't stop laughing about the alligator mouths! We'll be calling names to our whippet cousin Zoe. It's a perfect description (just as your full front hugs with extended claws into the collar bones was!)


    Jake and Fergs

  19. Yikes!!

    Let me get this straight now. You actually said that a squirrel fell off his branch, out of his tree, and almost right into your mouths! Wow!! That sure is stupid and a half!! The squirrels around here do not do those kinds of thing. But then again, we are not in the city.

    Love and Koobuss Kisses,

  20. I had a squirrel fall on top of Lindsay last year. Fortunately it made it back to a nearby tree with its tail in tact.

  21. I thought about Zack the crazy border collie over the 4th. With him, we'd be in the basement or huddled in the bathtub--his two safest places when the world goes fireworks crazy. Now Willie the pit ignores it all--fireworks, squirrels, even rabbits nesting in the backyard. Pits really do need a good PR team!

  22. At college I had a stupid squirrel run up my pants leg, pause... and run back down. He was looking for a handout, no doubt! That same year I was walking to class with my notebook open and I also heard a thwack .... but it was bird poop- right on the page I was reading.... YES, Pee, READING! hahaha!
    laurie and gang

    (Simmer would never walk on 4 legs again, if she had seen YOUR stupid squirrel !
    Hey, maybe there's another reason I don't find time to read so much?hmmmm...)

  23. I'm going to hug my hounds and remind them to carry open hot dog rolls when we pass under trees! :)

  24. That squirrel had to have been into illegal substances to drop in front of whippets.

  25. I don't want to think about the chaos that would have caused in my pack.


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