Monday, October 13, 2008

There is NO place like home

We're home. Recovering from the time change. I thought it would be fun to have a guest piece! (Until I can get some sort of intelligible thought going in my sleep-deprived brain. And yes it's 4:22 AM and I'm up. Oh joy.)

Molly with Mama Pajama last year - photo by Laurie Erickson

So today's guest writer is my niece, Molly, who came and stayed with the dogs for the TWO WEEKS that we were in Italy. (Note to self and the rest of the world: two weeks is too long to be away. Never again.) Anyway, Molly knows the whippets really well, since she stayed with us for a few months last year, and she was gracious enough to come and stay with them while we were gone.
I got a couple of emails from her, and I thought you dear readers would enjoy this one! Molly is a great writer, as you'll see.
I am usually a little confused about what day it is, let alone what happened on which day (I can hear you now saying, "Just wait 'cause it only gets worse... teeheeheee"). So here we go. Wait... did I just think "alone"? Did I say "alone" out loud? Crap. Here we go again... I'll be back in a minute. One, two, three and four in the TV room. Five, six and seven in here with me. And eight and nine in your bedroom. Okay, I’m back. I usually do a headcount by number first because if I go through by name I might miss a name and be feeling okay when really it’s time for another Biscuit Meeting (or a national Amber Alert). If I only get to seven (or six, or eight…) after counting at least two or three times (to be sure that my math is right) then I can figure out which one is missing and hunt them down like a Whippet on a rabbit. Or a squirrel. Or a cat. (I won’t say deer because I didn’t know that Whippets chased things bigger than themselves until I started reading your book.) Anyway, I try to do a headcount before I start a Biscuit Meeting if they’re all relatively close to the same location (me) so that I don’t use crazy amounts of biscuits. I break them into pieces but I am probably going to need to go get some more in the next couple of days… Running out would do irreparable damage to my reputation around here. Counting the babies always takes a minute or two because sometimes I lose track, which is another good reason to count because it makes me feel a little more stupid but a little less crazy. Whatever. Feeling a little stupid is waaaay better than losing my mind. Even though my math sucks I can normally count from one to nine with no problem. These aren’t apples or oranges though, they can move around. And they do, right when I am up to five. Or six. Or eight. And I have to start over… but that is okay, because fruit doesn’t give kisses. If one (or horrors, maybe more than one) is missing, Anal Retentive Paranoid Interim Servant runs around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to locate the offender, who is usually doing something horrible like lying innocently in his or her crate (or on the couch, or on a dog bed, etc.) sleeping soundly until I come careening into the room screeching his or her name at an ever-escalating volume. Then they wake up, look at me like I’ve lost my mind, and go back to sleep. Or I have to pay out a biscuit for waking them up.
Either way, as long as I can find them I am happy...

Molly has recovered now that we are home, and will be going back to her own dogs tomorrow. I can't thank her enough.

hug your hounds


  1. Hello Dear Patience, wonderful Waggle of Whippet and Hilarious Molly!!

    Welcome home, you have been sorely missed!
    We howled with laughter at Molly's e-mail, bless her heart, it reminded Mum of the times she spent helping out in Nursery, she swears she aged ten years in that period.

    So glad to see you back,

    love, smooches and tailwags,

    Ben xxxx

  2. I'm glad your back! Molly is a great writer! She had my Mommy laughing!
    Hugs & Snugs
    Eduardo the Snuggle Puggle

  3. Welcome home. Give Molly a big hug for us, if you can locate her among the waggle. Friends and Family who will help out that way are unbelievable special.

    gussie and muzzer
    and Teka Too, but all my kisses go to Swede William!

  4. Oh my Lord!!! She sound just like you!!

    Welcome back!

    Nearly and Vee

  5. Is Molly spending her first day in counselling today? I hope she recovers soon....... Seriously though, she is some VERY SPECIAL person who must be loved dearly by your "Waggle"

    Glad you are back where you belong! Looking forward to photos, stories, etc.

  6. welcome home. we're sure the whippets are happy to have you back.

    that was a funny email from Molly. our mom counts us all the time and we are only four!


  7. Welcome home! Can't wait to hear about the greeting you an Bill received from your wonderful waggle.

  8. Welcome home, Patience! We have missed you! By the way - 4:22AM is the best time of the day to be up - at least we think so!

    Love ya lots,
    Maggie and Mitch

  9. Welcome home! We've missed you! And that was one funny description..


  10. Oh, I love it! Thanks for sharing Molly's email.

    We spent two weeks in Italy for our wedding and honeymoon. It was definitely way too long to be away from the babies, even though I knew they were in good hands.

    Cheers and welcome home!

  11. Welcome back! The Whippets are really lucky to have some one like Molly, who took such great care of them when their original servants are away.


  12. A Biscuit Meeting? I love it and can just see all the meeting participants circling around the leader, Molly. She surely got much more attention at HER meeting than I ever did from two-legged participants! I kept four dogs straight on a good day, but never nine. . .you're my hero.

    Have you started with your Italian travelogue? If not, I'll eagerly await. And scroll down previous posts just to be sure I didn't miss.

  13. Welcome back!

    It is great receiving Molly's input about just how exciting her week has been. It's a tough job filling in for the Waggle's servants. I wonder; her humor sounds a lot like yours, Patience. Perhaps it comes with the Waggle territory?

    Star can't imagine HOW Molly took care of The Nine. He requires a single human just for him when we are gone. The Biscuit Meetings sound like a great idea.

    We're looking forward to wonderful tales as the helicopter tails continue to wave. What a special reunion that must have been.

    With misty eyes,
    Kathy and Star

  14. That sounds like our feeble minded Hobbit like creature. There are only three of us and 2 (quiet voice) cats. How would she be if she actually had to keep track of 9 of us. She would probably just fall asleep and hope we were found.

  15. Like I told your dear husband I am so glad that you guys are home and can't wait to hear more about the great adventure!

  16. Welcome home! Molly is a delightful writer. I met her a few times while she was walking numbers 5, 7, and 9. Or was it 3, 2, and 8?
    Anyway it was pleasure to meet her.
    Sounds like she did a great job.

  17. WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!!! YAY!! Molly needs an award for sure, but all we have are stain and doofus awards around here!


  18. Glad you are back!
    Molly sure is nice taking care of the kids.
    I just can imagine her counting them!
    Kisses and hugs

  19. Francarrich from WWOctober 14, 2008 at 5:05 AM

    Hope you had a bellissima time away even though you were missing the Waggle so much. I suspect you all appreciate each other so much more even though Molly sounds to be the PERFECT Waggle Warder. ('Ward' used in this sense as protector rather than prison guard, you understand!)

    I have often found myself looking all over the house & garden just trying to keep track of 2 or 3 or sometimes (when I've had a holiday visitor) 4 dogs at a time so goodness knows how Molly kept her sanity with the responsibility of caring for 9. Usually one of mine was fast asleep, hidden under the duvet up on the bed, stretched out so flat you could never see him!

    I bet she loved every minute of her time with the dogs, though, especially knowing that she was giving you both the chance to get away together.

    Good to have you back, Patience,


  20. dear patience...
    i read your column often...i just am too lazy to comment..but from now on i will..i am feeling tired and confused just imagining being in Molly's situation..poor girl..i am glad you went to Italy and enjoyed yourself though...and your dogs are beautiful,,,,how you find the energy i will never know..i have one...and love her more than anything...but somedays i get tire.d.llloll...

  21. Molly is fantastic--great writing must run in the family!

    wally t.


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