Thoughtless Thursday - Random Ramblings

We had two days of hard rain. Yesterday I picked up the yard. For those of you with scant numbers of dogs, skipping two days of pooper scooping wouldn't sound bad. I normally scoop twice a day, or more. Missing two days when you have nine dogs is like missing eighteen days of scooping if you have one dog. There you go. And the rain added a delightful unscoopability to the whole process.

Good thing I really love dogs.

To my neighbors who think I need more scooping to do and let their dogs poop with impunity outside our fence and leave it there as a special treat for me:

Let me imagine your stupid, lazy, irresponsible, ignorant redneck, innocent thought process. "Oh," you think. "Patience picks up all that poop everyday, she must love it and I am doing her a favor by leaving her some extra. What a good, considerate neighbor I am."

Oh you are so wrong. I pick up enough damn poop and I don't want yours. I am setting up infra-red heat-seeking missiles motion activated video cameras to catch you in the act. I am taking the evidence two places. The video will go to the police where you will then be eligible for a fine up to $1000. Ha ha ha ha!!! Cool beans!!! And I'm taking the other evidence and I'm putting it in your mailbox. Without the benefit of a baggie! HA HA HA HA HA HA I LOVE IT!!!! OH YEAH!!!!

I left Sammy in the bedroom this morning. We go downstairs in the morning in two groups, to avoid bottle necks and mayhem and trampling of Very Old Dogs. Sam I Am is in the second group. I had let everyone out to do their business and was putting down the breakfast bowls. No Sammy. "Where's Sam? Oh criminy, did I forget to open his crate?" Saint Bill ran upstairs, and soon I heard Sam I Am galloping down the hall above my head. I had opened his crate, but he was dawdling apparently and I closed the bedroom door before he exited. I doubt that he'll dawdle tomorrow.

We surprised Aynex (pronounced Eye Necks, you'll remember) on her way to the airport yesterday. Her neighbors gathered on her way out of Lowertown to wave goodbye.

(I had to edit the sign since this is a family friendly blog.)

Charter members of the Aynex fan club (Don't they just look like artistes!)

Pilates interruptus. (The construction workers driving by during the down dogs were highly appreciative!)

We made her laugh and cry.

Oh how we will miss her.

Thank you to all who have ordered from my website! I'll post photos of happy customers on the website and here as they arrive. Thanks to Aynex's last minute tutelage, I've made some minor changes to the web pages!!! Aynex said it all when she was talking to a friend on her cell phone. "It's going quicker than I thought it would," she said. (Translation: "Patience is not the GIANT IDIOT I thought she was.") It's quite gratifying, but I am still way out of my element. I would like to get a new page up for special sales, but we didn't get to the new page part... Plus I have LOTS of non-collar goodies for all kinds of dogs from my gift store, A Dog In the Garden, to upload. We'll see what I can figure out.

hug your hounds

Aynex

That is the video which Aynex (pronounced Eye Necks) made of Maria's thirteenth birthday party in February. Aynex is going to be a famous videographer or a movie director more famous than Christopher Guest or Stanley Kubrick, or Woody Allen or the Coen Brothers or Quentin Tarantino, or Pedro Almodovar or anyone we have ever heard of in the world.

I know this.

If you want to know how much every one loves Aynex, (pronounced Eye Necks, I know, it takes a while to get used to saying it), and if you want to see my Bill cry, go to her blog, AYNEX ,(pronounced Eye Necks, see it's getting easier) and watch her latest video, "Aynex the Musical."

I have to tell you just a little bit about Aynex, (see you can say it now without even thinking about it). She was born in Puerto Rico. Now you can't say that like we do in Kentucky when you are around Aynex. No "Porta Reeko." You have to say, "Phwhereto tonguedrill-icco". Or you try to, wanting to please Her Highness, but then you realise that her English leaves room for improvement and what the hey.

Aynex is tiny. She's not a Little Person, but she is a little person. And when she was in college in Massachusetts she was a passenger in a car which got broadsided. She was lucky to live, though she was in a coma and she was supposed to be a quadriplegic. But Aynex is not so good at doing what she's told, or she is good at doing what she's told she can't do. She was right handed before the accident. Now she sews the most amazing quilts. Award winning quilts. Left handed. And she does gifted graphic design. And she walks with a cane which she threatens you with if you displease her. And she rides a bicycle/tricycle thing around town with alarming speed.

Really, she should not be one of my favorite people. She is a year younger than my son Jake, so there is an age difference thing. She is charming and BEE-YOO-TEE-FULL and she flirts with my husband, who adores her blatantly and is jelly in her hands. And when she came to Paducah, she didn't like dogs!

OK, I could see that if you are 4' 8" tall, and you've had a spinal chord injury, and a large dog would knock you flat just as happy as howdy doo, that maybe dogs wouldn't be your companion of choice. I could see that. But, I would never be close friends with someone who didn't like dogs.

Oh was I ever wrong. I love Aynex. She is the most creative, brilliantly funny, talented, hysterical, adorable people in my world. She likes my dogs. Here's proof. She knows them by name. And she's moving away.

She started to like dogs so much, that she fancied herself a lab or a golden and she got hip dysplasia. She has to get her hips replaced, and she needs to move back closer to her family in Maryland to have it done. Now you would think that the Universe would figure that a thorough squishing in a car wreck might be enough for one small person, but I figure she was maybe just a little naughty in her last life, because she's getting a dose and a half of cosmic no fair this go round.

I've commented on her blog pretty religiously for the last I don't know how long. But she's been writing about the things here she's going to miss, and I can't for the life of me write a word. I'm too sad. I'm too selfish. I can't imagine this magical neighborhood without Aynex, because she'll take all the magic with her.

So I can't get myself around her leaving. And I only have nine days to do it.

Hug your friends and your hounds