Saturday, June 26, 2010

Shhhhhhh...

[She sneaks up on the blog. Eyelids straining ever more widely open, like she's trying to see better. Futile, that: it's pitch dark. Bug eyed. Her heart is just a'pounding. Great, now she's fresh out of spit. She's thinking twice...]

Well, if Dolly Parton can sing "Stairway to Heaven". (Playing on my local NPR Saturday morning station. It's pretty. Acoustic banjo, she whisper-sings ala Dolly, "And the forest will echo with laughter.")

Lower those expectations. If I'm going to write this blog, it's got to change. I've overscheduled myself into a deep dark corner. I've made friends in blogland. People I care about. Writing a blog isn't about only the time it takes to write; it's about visiting and commenting on other blogs. That takes hours. Literal hours.

I ain't got 'em anymore.

And there's that Temptress, Facebook. I can check in and check my friends out in minutes. The bitch.

When I started this blog, it was meant to entertain. Those of you that sent me notes in the months this blog lay fallow, saying kind things and encouraging me to write - that meant a lot to me. Thank you.

I got stuck. Tired and stuck. Not that I wasn't doing fun stuff. I just ran out of oomph to write about it.

And here's the truth: I need to write about my sister who died of ovarian cancer, and I haven't been able to. And since I haven't been able to write that, I just haven't been able to write.

I'll do that. And Mama Pajama and Fat Charlie and Sam's mom Jessie in Maryland are going to be 13 years old on the 29th. I'm just not promising to be entertaining anymore. I'm going to write for myself. I also can't promise to visit everyone else's blog. I'll be that kind of blogger, yuck.

I need to write the way I need to breathe.

hug your hounds

21 comments:

  1. Welcome back. I"ve missed you.

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  2. (((HUG!))) Writing for yourself is exactly what you should do. The way I see it, a blog is like a diary. OK. So it's a very PUBLIC diary, but it's still a diary in the sense that it's for *you*. It doesn't have to *be* anything other than your outlet.

    "Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart."
    - William Wordsworth

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  3. I totally agree with 'Tales From The Bark Side'! You need to write for yourself, and about what is important to and for you. Glad to see you take this step.

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  4. It's good to see you back, Patience. Writing is therapeutic, and I often write only for myself even though others may read it. Please, feel no guilt for not commenting on other blogs, or for having a life beyond your own blog. Each of us must do what we need to do to get through the day and still maintain some sense of inner peace, of balance, of joy in our lives. And when we can maintain that balance and joy in the work-a-day world, then not only do we benefit personally, but the world benefits too.
    Stay safe, and hug your hounds from me.

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  5. write for yourself, Patience. Find the joy in writing. Admittedly, I've been lazy with blogging myself but I visit other blogs every chance I get.

    Enjoy writing. Enjoy Life. Enjoy your hounds.

    Sis.

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  6. Patience, just do what you need to do! Surely you don't think anyone will berate you for that, do you? We are all doing what we can and wishing you well is part of it!

    Cheers and big hugs,

    Stella, Jo and Zkhat

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  7. I've missed you and your blog!!!! Welcome back!! And, a person needs to write what they need to write, and the stories will be what they are. And, that's enough right there. Hang in there.

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  8. dear patience, so nice to hear you voice again! i had to go into stealth mode and find you on facebook. i just wanted to make sure you were still there.

    i will read your blog no matter what it says, i just love your voice and can't wait for more.
    blessings and hugs,
    puglette
    :o)

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  9. We'll take ya any way we can get ya. No strings, no ribbons, no rubber bands. Ok by us.

    Gussie, Teka and the Muzzer

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  10. How awesome to hear from you, Patience! Hey, you do it your way! We've sure missed you!

    Love ya lots
    Maggie and Mitch

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  11. Patience.
    You need to do what your heart tells you to do.
    Just let us know, from time to time, that you all are ok!
    Take care
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

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  12. we're glad that you are going to write what you want to write. and we will read. we understand about not having the time to visit all the friends' blogs and comment. we're bad bloggers. we do the best we can.

    woofs.

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  13. i love reading your more serious stuff as well as your funny stuff. like the other peeps say, you have to write about what's there, not what you think you should write about.

    looking forward to seeing you back here soon.

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  14. Exhale .... you are ok! Have gotten a glimpse or two on FB but now, you're back - and as everyone else has said, it don't matter much what's written (now that I live in Tennessee, I can talk and write like this - grin) - as part of your virtual support group, we all want to be the wind beneath your wings -
    go well - go peacefully - and know that you are in my thoughts

    Buffalo Gayle

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  15. i have missed you. i am sorrier than i can say about your sister. you write whatever and whenever you feel the need. we're here. we'll always be here.

    (and yes, facebook is seductive and fun, but it doesn't have the depth.)

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  16. Patience ~ First off I am so sorry about your sister. She was a fighter of the finest order. As for the blog...write what you feel, what you need, and we will read it ravenously. You have been missed.

    Sue. HotRod, and Anneke

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  17. Martha,P-doggy, and CheJune 27, 2010 at 2:18 PM

    My dear P-anywhere,anytime,anything.You are so much busier now (I ASKED the waggle!) and time is always fleeting,it seems-we will see you on FB,and just relax,ol girl..when you can!

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  18. Hi P!

    I've been working crazy hours at a hospital here in Atlanta, so Piper and Jack understand how the Waggle feels. We walk when we can, but not like it used to be. I feel horribly guilty for that.

    Between the job, pharmacy school, and little Logan, I just don't have time for much else. I'm rarely on Facebook or WW these days, but I'm glad I stopped in today because I got to see your new blog entries. :)

    Cheers and hugs.

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  19. When you write for yourself, you ARE writing for us. :-)

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  20. So glad to hear you again.... and don't worry, we're listening.
    Gentle hugs for you about your precious sister... Welcome back, dear friend...

    Kathy and Flynn

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  21. So glad to hear you again.... and don't worry, we're listening.
    Gentle hugs for you about your precious sister... Welcome back, dear friend...

    Kathy and Flynn

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