Thursday, March 29, 2012
Radish RULES!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
A Day In The Life Of A Puppy
Puppy: Pssssssssssst. (waits a second) Psssssssssst!
Human: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz mmph rrrrgh (rolls over)
Puppy: Hey! Hey! Birds are chirping, let's get up! Hey!
Human: Oh for the love of God, Puppy, it's 2:30 in the morning. Damn these stooopid southern mockingbirds, do they not know it's the middle of the night?
Puppy: Well, since you're up, I think I have to pee.
Human: Oh crap. Come on. (takes puppy outside)
Puppy: Cool! Here's my ball and the moon is bright enough, let's play!
Human: Pee.
(puppy pees)
Human: Good puppy. Come on.
Puppy: Throw it once? You know you want to!
Human: PUPPY GET IN THIS HOUSE. NOW.
Puppy: Okay!
(they both go back to sleep)
Puppy: Pssssssssssssssssst. (waits a second) Pssssssssssssssst!
Human: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz mmph rrrrgh (rolls over)
Puppy: Hey! Hey! Sun's up! Rise and shine, human o'mine!
(human gets up)
Puppy: Good morning, good morning, to youoooooooooooooooooo!
Human: yawn
(puppy and human eat breakfast)
Puppy: Done with that bowl?
Human: Here, you can lick.
Puppy: nom nom nom. Oh my stars look at this, it's a SQUEAKY TOY!!!!! Let's play! Squeak squeak squeak. Squeak squeak squeak. Squeak squeak squeak. Squeak squeak squeak. Time for our walk!
Human: Time for our walk!
Puppy: Oh boy oh boy oh boy you are the best human ever ever EV-verrrrrrrrrrrrr!
(they go for a walk. human takes a shower and dresses for work.)
Puppy: I don't like the looks of this. Not one bit. Oh yeah, time to hide. (puts head behind chair with butt sticking out big as day) Phew! Safe. Can't find me here.
(human grabs puppy and puts puppy in crate with yummy stuffed Kong)
Human: I'll be back at lunch. Be a good puppy.
Puppy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh hey, what's this nom nom nom.
(later)
Puppy: Uh-oh. I have to pee. Hellooooooooooo? Um, maybe if I shred this blanket, it will take my mind off...
(human gets home for lunch)
Puppy: ... MY BLADDER!!!!! You're home! I love you love you love you !
(human opens crate door)
Puppy: Oh you are the best human in the UNIVERSE! Hello! Wa-hooooooooooooo! It's a wonderful world!
Human: Oh honey, you dribbled. Out we go, quick quick!
(they go out into the yard)
Puppy: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(human plays with puppy, eats lunch, lets puppy lick plate, returns puppy to crate)
Puppy: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(human gets home from work)
Puppy: Hello!!! How was your day? Mine's been awesome so far. Shall we go a'walking? It's been forever since we had a nice walkies. OH YES!! That's the ticket! Good good human! I love you!
(they go for a walk)
Puppy: Look! Grass! I LOVE grass. nom nom nom.
Human: No eating grass! It will make you puke. Come on, sweetheart!
Puppy: Look! An e-vile city squirrellie! Bark Bark Bark! Gnash teeth! RAWR!!! I LOVE e-vile city squirrellies!!! LOVE to bite them up to bits!
Human: Ouch.
Puppy: Whatch doin' on the ground, silly human? Here, I'll lick your face because I LOVE YOU!
(human gets up and checks out bleeding palms and knees; not too bad, just some scrapes.)
Puppy: Here we go! LOOK! A big dog! HI BIG DOG I'M ADORABLE!
Human: (shortens hold on leash) Puppy, the big dog might not like puppies.
Puppy: Don't be ridiculous. Everybody loves me! I'm ADORABLE. HI THERE BIG DOG!!! Whoa! That is NOT a nice dog at all. Move along human. A little faster now. Hurry.
(they get home, eat dinner, lick plates)
Human: hmmmm. Wonder what my Facebook friends have been up to?
(sits at the computer)
Puppy: Let's play!
Human: Go lie down.
Puppy: I'm more fun than any stinking computer! I'm irresistible! Wag wag wag!
Human: GO LIE DOWN!
Puppy: Well, you don't have to get all huffy. Geez. Hmmmmm. what to do what to do what to do. La la la dee da.
(puppy goes off in another room)
(puppy comes back)
Puppy: Oh human? I have a surprise for you!!! [puppy giggle] I have a secret! I made a little poopie in the back of the bedroom all by myself and no one knows but me!
Human: What is that smell? PUPPY!!! You didn't!!!
Puppy: Uh-oh.
(mess gets cleaned up, puppy goes out, human gets ready for bed)
Human: Come on sweetheart, time for bed.
Puppy: I LOVE bed!
(they go to bed)
Puppy: Have I ever told you that you are the BEST thing in my whole world? Because you are the BEST thing in my whole world and I love you like crazy.
Human: Have I ever told you that you are the BEST thing in my whole world? Because you are the BEST thing in my whole world and I love you like crazy.
Puppy: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Human: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
hug your hounds
Friday, March 23, 2012
Oh My Heart
Monday, February 20, 2012
Novel excerpt 02-20-2012
hug your hounds
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Novel Excerpt 02-16-12

image (C) Bill Renzulli, used with permission :-)
When Emily got the two whippets out of the van, Zeke was a little excited, too, though he was staid compared to Hope. She was zig-zagging around on her lead, wagging her tail, and grinning at her Emily. Fun! This looks like fun! They walked on the grass outside a large building, and Hope could smell all sorts of different dogs.
“Holy schmoly what the heck is that hairy monster?”
Little Hope felt every hair along her back prickle to full attention, and she heard herself sound the alarm. “Danger! Danger! Hairy MONSTER!” She had never in her young life seen such a big, hairy dog.
“Hope!” cried Emily. “I don’t believe I’ve ever heard you bark before! You actually do have a voice. It’s alright, sweetie, it’s just a Malamute.”
“Oh it’s just a Malamute,” barked Hope. “Whatever the heck that is, but good grief, what do you know about danger? You’re only a human. Oh my stars!”
Hope raised herself to her tallest, by standing on her tippy-toes. “Get back! Get away from us! I’m a very important protector of my human, who doesn’t have the sense to let us put her safely in the van, obviously. Hey, Uncle, a little help here?”
The terrified puppy glanced sideways at Zeke, who was unfazed by the Hairy Monster. Maybe he hadn’t heard her.
“Look Out. Warning. Danger. Back off, Hairy Monster, you don’t want me to use the power of my teeth! They are sharp and strong, let me tell you.”
Her little body bounced with each bark, legs stick straight, tail up, neck stretched tight as a tug o’war toy to make herself look as big and imposing as a nine month old, skinny little Whippet puppy could look. The Malamute waved his huge tail over his back and acted friendly and non-threatening. Hope could not believe what she heard her Emily say next.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Dog Breeders: Devils or Angels?
The listing stated, "The owners were breeding her and selling her puppies. Now, she's been cast off and left in a shelter. She has 2 cherry eyes but that's just cosmetic. She seemed like a sweet happy girl."







