Saturday, January 12, 2008

Corruption at the Highest Level and Not Playing Fair

Very Old Dog: I don't believe it. There is some kind of mistake!

Lady Maria: There simply has to be an explanation.

Luciano: It's the end of the world! I SAW it with my OWN eyes! DoG have mercy on us all ... what will become of us. Are we homeless? We're homeless aren't we. I KNEW one day we'd be HOMELESS. OOH WAIL...!!!!

Fat Charlie: Any food on the counter?

Mama Pajama: Luciano, stop wailing. If she brings one home, we shall chase it and eat it, that's all.

Delia: Whatever. I'm hanging with my manservant, so what. ever.

Sam I Am: Maybe she needs more hugs. Do you think I didn't give her enough hugs and she went crackers? Humans need so many hugs. She's been looking unbalanced lately. I should have given her more hugs. Oh dear, what to do?

Lindy Loo and Swede William: Not it! Not it! Tag you're it! I got the toy, you can't catch me! I'm going to get you!!! ZZZZOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!


Very Old Dog: Here's the story. The Servant got a blog award. She passed it on, and I guess she had some kind of FIT or SEIZURE and gave it to a C-A-T.

Luciano: Arrrrrrgggghhhh! Say it ain't so, Old Dog, say it ain't so.

Mama Pajama: Loochie, dear, get a grip. [Aside to her brother Fat Charlie: I swear, Looch's Kong is totally unstuffed, if you know what I mean.]

Fat Charlie: Yeah, um, do you smell butter? I think I smell butter.

Lady Maria: That fetid feline said some horrible things. Our Servant will ALWAYS be the crazy dog lady, NEVER the crazy C-A-T lady, but... It is the photograph, I just can't get over the photograph. The one on the C-A-T's blog oh I just can't bear it.




Lindy Loo zooming by: Hey LOOK! That's the picture of the Servant and me when I was a teeny pup!

Swede William screeching to a halt: That's not you, Lindy! That's a CAT!!! Woof CAT ALARM!!

All: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF EVIL KITTY WOOF WOOF RUFF RRRRUFFF!!! [chaos ensues.]




Very Old Dog: Ah. I knew there was an explanation. Look closely, my dears. The C-A-T has used black magic and foolery and photoshop on us. It magicked itself into Little Lindy Loo's photo. Pretty clever the way it even got the human's big pointy chin just right. Our Servant may be foolish and a do-gooder and a goody two shoes and several biscuits short of a full box, if you know what I mean, but she would never leave us for a C-A-T!!!

Lady Maria: Ah! Very Old Dog you are right as always! GRRRRRR... I see some kitty stew in our future.

Mama Pajama, eyes on fire: Evil Kitty dares to mess with the Whippets?

Luciano, fanning himself: I think I'm going to faint. This was just too much for me.

Delia: What. EVER.

Fat Charlie, licking his lips: Dang, that was a good stick of butter! Our Servant is so kind to leave things on the counter for me. [His eyes light up.] Kitty STEW??? Counter me in!!!

Lindy Loo zooming by from the other direction: There I am! Wasn't I adorable!!!

Swede William, in hot pursuit: Oh Lindy you are getting more adorable by the minute! Ouch! What did you bite me for? Geez, one butt sniff and blammo! HA! I got the stuffie! Neener neener can't catch me now!

Sam I Am, leaning his head into his human's chest: I never doubted you. Not for a minute.

All: C-A-T we're giving you fair warning.

YOU

ARE

TOAST



=======================


We got another award from Marvin in Scotland and from Asta, in New York City, though after that last post they may take it back! (But thank you both for being so kind and generous!)


Here are the rules attached to this award:
1. You must write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think. (No fish or bird blogs, they'll just make you hungry)
2. Acknowledge this post.
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote.
4. Go tell your humans to fork over the treats!
We would like to pass it on to Peanut and Flash whom we think of every day while their dad is in Iraq, Lesley Rigby Tillie's gran who doesn't even have a blog, but leaves nice comments and we can never thank her so we just did, Jake and Just Harry for their masterpiece of an Edgar Allan Paw poem, and Xsara all the way in Slovenia who prove that a beagle can ROCK in agility, and THAT STINKIN C-A-T because he's going to have to think REAL hard about how he's not going to end up as our kitty stew dinner.
hug your hounds

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Remembering

Rex, 1971







It is raining again today. Not a spritz or drizzle in which you can go about your business with the inconvenience of misted glasses and uncooperative hair. This is yet another steady you-couldn't-possibly-think-of-walking-dogs-in-this-hard-rain kind of day. It is a definite improvement over the tornadoes of Tuesday, but lordy it has rained this miserable winter. Enough.

I enjoyed reading a fellow dog blogger's delightful post about the dogs of her past. (Her blog is The Lurchers. It's wonderful - go have a read.) It inspired me to reminisce about mine. Actually I am so senile that I thought this was a wonderful original idea that just popped into my brain, until I got started and the memory bulb finally lit.

When I was ten, my mother drew me aside and whispered, "Your father has said we may get a dog." This was not "may" as in might possibly, but was "may" as in have permission to. Twice as a young girl I cried tears of joy. This was the second time. I vividly remember standing in our dining room, in my mother's arms, weeping tears too big and too old for my face. After years of wishing, we were going to get a dog.

The next day, when I got home from school, there was Rex. My father had driven to the Baltimore City Pound and looked for a dog who reminded him the most of a childhood dog of his. He had named his childhood dog Napoleon, and had suffered mightily for it in the form of unrelenting teasing from his peers. So our dog would be Rex. Though miffed at the time, I'm now sure it was a kindness. My most precious stuffed animal was named Horsey, my parakeet was Birdie, and our cats had been Stripey and Blackie. Perhaps that explains my current whippets' names: Giacomino, Fat Charlie, Mama Pajama, Swede William. Nowadays, three syllables is the minimum, and the dogs enjoy a wealth of letters to call their own.


My two older sisters were both away at boarding schools, so Rex was my constant companion. We did not have to share each other's attention. He was a marvellous confusion of breeds. About twenty-five pounds of good humor and a serious hunter. Rex would not approach a human without a gift, so he nearly always had a leaf in his mouth. He would proffer it up, and then accept it back, smiling and wagging at this canine form of hand shaking good will. If we were indoors, it would be a napkin or a scrap of paper, but he always had something to give. If he had been out on a hunting jag, his gift usually took the form of a very dead and abused ground hog cadaver, no matter that dragging the thing home was as big an effort as the battle had been. Rex was a generous provider.


About a year after Rex's arrival we had a dinner party. Our neighbor had gone with my father into Baltimore and returned with a bushel of oysters. Much ado was made about the shucking of these oysters, with both men claiming expertise, and both ending up with numerous cuts and gouges in their hands, proving otherwise. Oysters Rockefeller were the first course. Our neighbor's youngest son, Sandy, was my best friend, and sat across the table. He would have preferred to skip this first course entirely, but his parents insisted that he try one oyster. Sandy was an adventurous and slightly mischievous character. But to my surprise, his appetizer plate soon contained only a shell, though he politely declined seconds. (During the bloody preparation of the salty mollusks, Sandy had promised me that no matter what the punishment, he was not letting one of those disgusting blobs of snot pass his lips.) And there was his empty oyster shell, without a word of protest.

After the guests had left I was helping my mother with the kitchen clean up. Rex was marching around, cheering us on, tail and head up, proud as ever of the gift he carried. Because of the Nazi-like enforcement of table manners rules in our house, Rex had never tasted a crumb from a table, nor had he licked a plate. But he was peculiarly intent on sharing this particular gift, and kept trying to interrupt the dish washing. Finally, in exasperation, my mother said, "Patience, see what Rex has this time."


I dried my hands and turned to Rex. "What do you have for me, buddy?"


The normal, expected rules of Rex's giving game were to receive the gift, hold it up and exclaim, "Oh thank you, Rex, this is the best leaf/napkin/rubber band ever. Here you go!" and give it back. I did not play by the rules this time.


I held out my hand and Rex, just bursting with pride gave me his gift.


I screamed and dropped the thing on the kitchen linoleum. What in God's green Earth?


It was Sandy's oyster.


Sandy had surreptitiously passed it off to the dog under cover of tablecloth. Rex had been overwhelmed with gratitude and was overcome with superbia at this unaccustomed blessing. For an hour and a half he had been holding this treasure, thrilled beyond measure. Yet, he was so generous of nature that he gave it without hesitation to me.


The hurt in the dog's eyes, caused by my so inappropriately callous response quickly spread to his whole being. His proud tail drooped, his ears fell, and his head ducked below his knees. I feared that he might just die, right on the spot, his lifeless body landing in a lump on the famous oyster on the kitchen floor.


My mother saved the day. "Oh Rex!" she exclaimed. "What a treasure! What a good dog! Thank you so much!" she cried, her own tears of laughter rolling down her cheeks. She scooped up the scorned shellfish and grabbed a paper doily from the dessert plate to return to Rex. The sweet dog immediately regained his self esteem, and true to his nature he bore me no grudge.


We laughed about that oyster for years. And that night, I let Rex sleep in my bed. It was my only way to apologize, and I would have been severely punished if my father ever found out. But Rex cheerfully let me feel as though no forgiveness was needed.


What a great little dog he was.







Hug your hounds.


================================



Our blogging friends, the Wrigglebutts generously gave us a very sweet award!!








Hmmm. We will pass it on to Graham and Tilly and Joker and Phoebe the lurchers,

both of whom keep wonderful blogs that I think my dear readers would enjoy. Thank you, Wrigglebutts!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is a banner day! We have received another award from the whippets' dear wirey friend, Koobusssss!


"The award is awarded to 'people whose blog brings you happiness & inspiration and makes you feel happy about Blogland.The 'rules' of this award say we may nominate up to 10 bloggers who make our day." Be sure to notify them.

Thank you Koobuss! We feel happy and are excited that you thought of us! Ten bloggers, huh? OK, here goes:

  1. Bill (he will get all flustered and not know what to do)
  2. Kandinski and Aynex (that's a CAT!! Are you KIDDING???)
  3. Linda and Maisie (to help her broken toe heal faster and she's part whippet)
  4. Bizzy and Furgirl (because it's true)
  5. Jake and Just Harry (and their human who made my day)
  6. Vee and the boys (so you can see her awesome art and Lindy's brother Nearly)
  7. The WriggleButts (because we love her amazing photos and Nimbus)
  8. Gus the wirey boy (who made up a new song every day in December!)
  9. Joe Stains' ma (who shares recipes that are fantastically stupendous) and
  10. Mary T (because I can't figure out my day without her blog and it's her fault I have a blog!)




Monday, January 7, 2008

First Night of Class

Our Kennel Club held the first night of beginner Agility classes tonight. Lindy Loo (lying on top) was in the first class, and her BFF Swede William (Lindy Loo's extra cushion in the photo above) was in the second class. They are both about a year and a half old. Sam I Am went too, as he is entered in a trial in a couple of weeks, and I thought maybe he'd learn by, I don't know, osmosis possibly.

I love watching animals learn. I loved it when I worked with young horses, and I love it with dogs. Our teacher is one of our Kennel Club members and she's patient and kind and explains things well, so neither the dogs nor the humans are having anything but fun. Lindy Loo and Swede William have gotten a little headstart; yet another Kennel Club member took pity on me this fall and graciously has given me some private lessons at her home. I could tell she has started us off on the right feet, because both of the puppies were thrilled tonight to see the equipment.

We think that humans are the only ones who learn by observation, but I don't believe it for a minute. Back when I trained young horses to accept a saddle and rider, I soon realized that it was exponentially easier and less traumatic when the horses had seen other horses be ridden. When youngsters came from broodmare farms where they never had seen a horse under tack, no matter how used to being handled they were, they were much harder to convince that this was a reasonable proposal!

I had messed up training poor Sam I Am the teeter. (In Agility, one of the obstacles is a seesaw. The dog runs up one side, hesitates slightly as he reaches the fulcrum point, and then runs down after the teeter tots.) Sam was afraid. So for two training sessions last year, I stood Sammy next to the teeter while the advanced dogs ran over it. And every time a dog banged the teeter, I gave Sammy a treat. Bang! Treat. Bang! Treat. After watching all those dogs and getting treats just for watching, he stopped being afraid. Now I have to work on slowing him down on the teeter!

In tonight's class there was a beautiful big Doberman. Just a gorgeous dog with a gleaming coat that a Pantene commercial would crave. His handler blatantly adores the dog and is justifiably proud. To introduce the dogs to the A-frame, a pause table that was set at about a foot off the ground was placed on the side almost at the bottom of the A-frame. The dogs were to jump up on the table, and then ease onto the A-frame and creep down to the bottom. Just a few steps. The Doberman thought this was not a clever thing to do with his Monday night. He climbed willingly onto the table, but was intimidated by the pitch of the A-frame. Our instructor wisely didn't want to frighten him, and when he placed just one paw on the obstacle, she had his handler give him a treat, and tell him he was brave, and that was it.

I looked at the Dobe as the other dogs climbed onto the table and down the A-frame. He'd watch, and then glance at his handler. And wag. I could see his brain working. When it was his turn again, he climbed right up on the table and then put one of his big, gentle paws on the A-frame. And with trepidation but without hesitation, there went the next foot and the next and the next and he had his courageous bulk on that steep ramp and there he was with his back feet on and front feet on terra firma and he was getting treats and whoops of praise and he fairly beamed and his human beamed right back and is there anything much cooler on Earth?

Nah.

=========================

It's amazing what dogs will do to please us. Astonishing how much they trust us.

hug your hounds

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Lost

[If you came looking for the poem, scroll down to the next post, after you read this important message.]

For over a year I have been working on a novel about a stolen dog, whose owner won't give up searching. Imagine my sadness in discovering that this scenario is playing out in real life in Australia. I cannot fathom the living nightmare this woman is enduring.
Someone, somewhere knows where her dog is.




Please direct everyone to this website:
www.findingbeau.com

Hug your hounds extra tight.
And count your blessings. Twice.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Clueless


What can I say when they just don't get it?
When I'm in front of a room full of people who have never loved a dog, or worse, have a dog tied to a tree out back and think he has a great life?
They look at me like I'm Martian, at best, or silly:
Loving a dog isn't important when people are dying in wars and famine and military coups.
Worrying about whether an old dog's pain is controlled is cliche'.
It's just so beneath them, being important and all.
What can I say?

I say that I see in that old dog's heart the answer to wars and famine and military coups.
I say that if we could learn a simple lesson of forgiveness from that dog tied to their tree, hell, Israel and Palestine would be a piece of cake.
I say that we've got no better example of unconditional love and trusting the untrustworthy, but what do I know?
I know that when people I respect behave badly, when they push and bully,
That I can go watch my dogs run for the sheer joy of it and I couldn't care less.

What do I know.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Happy times (from the Novel)



[This is when Hope and her litter brother were growing up. Enjoy! I you want to read all of the excerpts from my novel-in-progress, simply click on the "novel excerpt" label at the bottom of this story.]

Hope loved everything about her farm. She loved the smell of the horses. She loved to devil the barn cats, and couldn’t understand why the Woman didn’t see them as Vermin. She loved the sun, oh how she loved the sun. She loved to bake in it in the summer, and to worship its hidden warmth in the fall. She and her brother Proper would hunker down together in a pile of leaves and let that autumn sun reach through and warm their souls. They shared their heat, as was their nature, and took turns sleeping and feigning sleep. She loved the pretending best. Watching through one seemingly closed eye. When a squirrel would carelessly scan and miss them entirely and twitch his evil tempting tail and chatter his insults, she would move nothing; just change the pattern of her breathing. She would feel Proper’s heart race next to her, but he wouldn’t move as much as a whisker. Wait. Wait. The pounding of their two hearts was deafening, pumping oxygen like bullets, getting ready. Wait. She felt Proper shift just a fraction. Wait.

And then the leaves exploded. She would beat her bigger brother, though she saw nothing at all but the idiot squirrel. Got it. And now the Woman was out in the yard, yelling and stumping along and the idiot squirrel was dead and it was hers, but her brother thought it was his, and what was the silly Woman doing? Arrgh, that moment she took her mind off the carcass, Proper got it and took off, and the silly Woman was stumping around the yard after Proper and the idiot dead squirrel, and so was she. She was just inches away from grabbing it out of her brother’s jaws, only he turned just then, well, he learned that trick from her, now didn’t he? And the silly Woman was panting like a bellowing bull, and screaming “Leave it! Drop it!” As if Proper would. And life was so grand.

After Proper chomped down the idiot squirrel’s head, he stopped playing Dodge the Human and allowed the Woman to have the rest of the carcass. She retched and gagged and took the thing by the very tip of its tail and threw it over the fence. Humans were so wasteful. Why disgrace the idiot squirrel by letting the good parts rot? It should be eaten, and rolled in as perfume, and then let the flies get what’s left. She noticed that the Woman was still huffing and was all red and sweaty, so she thought she should see if she were all right. She trotted over, wagging. The Woman took them inside and cared for their wounds in her odd, clumsy way, by putting some cold bubbly liquid out of a bottle on them. This she followed with an ointment, smelling unnatural and medicinal that at least they could lick off. The Woman asked Proper please not to throw up the idiot squirrel’s head on the living room rug. Perfect example of the Human’s lack of understanding. What did she want? If the idiot squirrel’s brain was full of sickness, did she want Proper to absorb the sickness? Humans!

There were lots of days of chasing squirrels. When Hope and Proper went on the walks with the Woman and the elders in the Big Back Fields, they were attached to the Woman so she didn’t get left behind and lost. The Woman would release an elder from the obligation and they would run and tease the rest of the pack. Hope’s sire was especially good at finding deer, fox, rabbits and those vile groundhogs. When they would hear the Sire sound the hunting alarm, they would all try their best to help the Woman run to catch up. Whippets can go from zero to thirty in less time than you could say “OOF” so more often than not, the Woman would end up on her belly, and a couple of them used to get to go off and help the Sire. With the attachments still around their necks and dragging behind them, though no longer in the Woman’s hands, they could not be as helpful as they would like, but they tried. If it was a deer, they would turn the deer to come back to the pack. Usually by then, the Woman was just getting up and assessing her bumps and bruises. The sight of a big old buck, heading right toward them, with their Sire and pack mates on its flagging white tail, would cause the pack to try with all their might to help the Woman run towards the deer, and down she’d go again on her slow, useless Human belly.

The Pack thought that by repeating this scenario on every possible opportunity, the Woman would either learn to run faster, or would relieve them of their obligation to her, at least for the walks. But Humans just don’t learn, and so off they’d go, morning, noon and evening, tethered to the Woman, with only one or occasionally two at a time running free.

Hope loved more than anything when it was her time to run. The Woman was at least smart enough to pair her with the Queen or her Sire. So many lessons to learn! The first time she was let free out back, she was running hell bent for leather, when suddenly pie-yow there was an explosion and Hope was turning head over heels in the hay field. She looked up, once she stopped seeing stars, to see her Sire grinning down at her. He had intentionally crashed into her, sending her ass over tin cups. “Watch out. Respect your elders. Pay attention.” But Hope was very young, and full of run, and finally free of the tethered Woman, and she took off just as fast as her spirit could fly, in big silly looping butt-tucked circles. Another explosion sent her tumbling, and this time when she finally stopped, her Sire had her gently by her throat, his tail wagging and his eyes shining. “Watch out. Respect your elders. Pay attention.” He held her still, on her back for a moment, with his jaws as strong as his character and as gentle as his soul. When he let her up, Hope trotted off, looked around, and carefully started running. But having no desire to be a doggy bowling pin yet again, when she heard her Sire thundering up behind her, she ducked down and hugged the ground. Her Sire jumped clear over her and looked over his shoulder, daring her to run with him. They ran in big circles, grinning around their tongues, and any time her Sire would look at her, she would crouch and wait until he dared her to run with him again.

When she was completely out of breath, she trotted back to the Pack and the Woman, and sides just a-heaving, gladly accepted the Woman’s tether. The Woman carried a squirt bottle of water, which Hope gratefully gulped. Then she strained at her tether as Proper got to run with the Queen. When Hope saw the Queen bearing down on him she barked an excited little warning, but Proper was all about running and then boom it was all over as the Queen sent him sprawling. “Watch out. Respect your elders. Pay attention.” It took four explosions for Proper to learn, but sure enough, he did. It was a lesson that served them all their lives; no matter how fast they were going, they stayed aware of their surroundings. They honed their peripheral senses.